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My heart stutters when he pulls away, but he stays close and peers up at me from under his dark lashes.
“Thanks for inviting me over for this,” he says. “It’s really nice. I know you have your own stuff going on. Like, if all we do is eat and watch TV, I’m completely fine with that, for the record. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do, or that might make you—”
I don’t know what comes over me. It’s the warmth in his eyes. It’s the contentment on his face. It’s his hand pressing harder on my thigh so he can push himself up and look at me with utter trust and happiness. It’s my own stupid, renegade heart beating its way out of my chest as I gaze at this man who’s inexplicably in my arms.
It’s all of it. It’s none of it. It’s the perfection of the moment.
Before he can continue offering me excuses and escapes, I lean down and kiss him.
I can feel Sebastian’s surprise against my lips. My eyes are closed, but his lashes flutter against my cheeks before he recovers and closes his eyes as well. He breathes deeply, and I slide my hand around his back. Sebastian’s grip on my thigh tightens to a claw. I slip my free hand along his jaw, holding him against me for another couple of heartbeats.
When we separate, he gapes at me, his lips hanging open.
“I thought you said…”
I swallow hard. “Yeah, I know.”
“Does that mean we can do that again?” Sebastian asks.
In response, I yank him toward me. Our lips crash together this time, all timidity left behind. Sebastian groans against my mouth. His free hand grips the front of my shirt like he means to hold me against him forever. And I could stay. God, how I could stay. His mouth is soft and plush and warm, his desperate hands a plea I can’t resist. I hate myself for not doing this sooner, for taking it off the table when it feels so, so good, but I was right to fear it.
Now that I’ve tasted him, I’m not going to be able to walk away.
There’s nothing left to lose. I can’t run from this. I can’t hide. I tried and I kept coming back regardless of my resolve.
So when we part this time, I stand, guiding Sebastian up with me. Then I take his hand and lead him toward my bedroom.
Chapter Nineteen
Sebastian
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO my life tonight?
I headed to Luke’s house with absolutely zero expectations. I wasn’t even sure if there really would be a dinner to eat or if that was some weird code for sex. When he produced a real meal, I was content with that being the extent of this night, but then there was the couch and the cuddling and…
That kiss.
I’m still reeling from it, even as Luke pulls me up off the couch and leads me through his sparse home. The walls desperately need some art, but that’s a dull concern in the back of my mind right now. Most of me is living in that kiss, that warm, firm press of lips. I never thought I’d get something like that from Luke. Wasn’t he the one whoinsisted we could never do that? It seems like a lot of walls are crashing down tonight, collapsing one after the other, every thud an earthquake trying to shake me off my feet.
Luke pulls me into a room off to the side of the living room. It seems to be the only other room in the house, and it’s just as plain as everything else here. I spot a bed and a dresser for clothing and a nightstand with the ugliest lamp in history on it. That’s about it. No pictures of family. Nothing on the walls.
It might occur to me to find this bleak and depressing, but before I can, Luke’s big hands are on my waist, maneuvering me around so I land on his bed. He climbs on after me, and I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him down to steal more of those delicious kisses.
After how tightly he guarded those kisses for so long, tonight he gives them up easily, his mouth slamming against mine. His beard scratches my face, and while I can easily imagining it scratching pleasantly in other places, tonight I want his mouth against mine more than anywhere else. A kiss has never gotten me so hard before, but I’m all but popping through my zipper as I boldly jab my tongue into Luke’s mouth and he rewards me with a low rumble of surprise.
I curl my fingers in his hair, pulling him harder against me as the kiss deepens. His body lies atop mine, so much bigger than mine that he’s like a weighted blanket covering me. I spread my legs wide around him so we can fittogether even closer. I’m sure he can feel me. These pants are a little tight, and his whole body is pressed against mine.
I sneak a hand down, searching for him, curious if his reaction is anything like mine. It’s difficult and awkward to reach him, but I manage it and… Yeah, this long, sloppy, heated kiss is definitely hitting him just as hard as me. Christ, that’s sexy.
Nearly as sexy as the moan that slithers down my throat when I touch him.
For all his hesitations about this, Luke is beautifully responsive to every touch, every point of contact. I feel like a miner plucking diamonds out of coal, wriggling my fingers around until I come across each precious stone hidden amid the dust. I snake a hand into Luke’s hair, use the other to cling to his shoulder, press my knees in around him to keep him close against me. I don’t know what prompted him to suddenly let go with me like this, but I’m not going to allow him to slink away again until I’ve had my fill.
We gasp, heads tilting to seek air, but we don’t attend to our lungs for long before diving back into each other. He’s as frantic as I am, even though this is entirely in his control. I’m not the one who’s going to run away the second the frenzy passes, but Luke chases my lips like I’m a mirage that might fade away.
I grip his hair harder, trying to convey that I’m notgoing anywhere, not unless he wants me to. I’ll stay here and kiss him all night if he’ll let me.
Other body parts may not be content with that plan. My cock is starting to throb for attention, but I don’t want to rush this, not when I finally have all of him. I didn’t expect I’d ever get this kiss, never in my entire life, so I’m more than willing to put off other needs to hold onto it.
