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“Mom, what did the doctor say? Is this new drug helping or hurting you?”
“I think it’s helping a bit. Supposed to give me a boost in my blood cell counts and size. It’s hard on the kidneys. I guess that’s the big issue right now. If they shut down, well, that’s about it. Unfortunately, when that starts to happen, it happens quickly. We won’t get much warning. And I’m not getting daily blood tests, so who knows? But we get them once a week.”
He approached his concern slowly. “Have you made your plans, then? Do you need any help with that?”
“Maybe we could do that while they’re away.”
He stood up. “Let me get my notebook, and we’ll write some things down.” He left to get his lined tablet. When he came back, she was ready.
“First, I want to be cremated. My sisters will fight you on that. Plant a tree in the backyard or, better yet, put my ashes on the bananas. You don’t have to tell them. I’ll derive delicious pleasure knowing my sisters will actually be eating my words!”
He would have laughed if it had been a Team Guy, but this gallows humor wasn’t funny to him when it was his parents.
“Mom, so you believe in banana reincarnation, then? That what you’re telling me? Now who has the dementia?”
She laughed, which morphed into a coughing spell, and she spit up blood on the tissue she held to her liver-colored, thin lips.
It wasn’t a good sign. He was hoping for some form of death for her that didn’t involve drowning in her own fluids.
What are you doing? It is what it is. You’re supposed to be happy today.
“Okay, no burial. Cremation. We’ll keep the planting location a secret for family harmony.”
“No urn. Constantino will want one. I say no way!”
“I agree. Sort of morbid, right?”
“Totally gross. A nice service down at the beach. If you want to spread me out to sea, you have to be careful not to be near any beach patrol or cleanup crew.”
“So it’s not legal. I thought it was.”
“Nope. I had a dear friend who tried to send her dog to the ocean, and she got a fine.”
“I’m liking a midnight snack for the bananas more and more.”
“It will be our secret. So a nice remembrance. Everyone standing together in a circle, holding hands.”
“Like a wedding. I’ve seen weddings do that at the beach.”
“Yes, a marriage of life and death, the end of an era. The struggle gone. Only the foreverness of Heaven. Maybe I’ll see Moira there.”
He stopped writing. “Moira?”
“Yes. She’s gone ahead. I think she’ll be there to greet me.”
He wondered why she was bringing it up, but he let it go.
“You look as you don’t believe me.”
He wondered if he should tell her. What would it hurt to give her a little hope too. He glanced out the window at the greenery outside. Then he asked her.
“Are you able to keep a secret, Mom?”
“Who am I going to tell?”
“Oh, your nurses, your sisters, Dad, friends—”
“My friends don’t stop by anymore. Your dad has scared them all off.”
