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But the question lingering is the one I’ve been thinking about, too. I clear my throat, then admit, “I didn’t cancel the plane tickets.”
Delfi might have gasped, but I’m focused on Agostina in front of me. She’s listening intently to what I’m saying, probably already planning what her next move will be.
“When do you leave?” she asks.
“Well, it would have been tomorrow at five.”
“And when’s the competition?”
“Friday night,” I answer.
She whips her phone out, typing away.
Manny chimes in, “I’ll see if Alexis can take your Friday night.”
“I’ll take your bar shift,” Gavin adds.
“Wait. What are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m so in,” Delfi says, practically vibrating from the excitement.
“What?” I look around, confused. There’s a whirlwind of plans being made around me, and I feel like the eye of the hurricane, surprisingly calm, the chaos swirling around me.
“We’re going,” T answers quickly. “Larissa, you want in?”
I start to protest, like I’ve even got it in me anymore, but T stops me.
“No. No.I don’t want to hear a thing from you. We are going. We’re going to support you because that’s how this works and that’s what you need.” She lifts her phone. “Besides, I got a great deal, so yeah, we’re going.”
I soften at that, but reality quickly hits. “Wait a second. I haven’t even talked to Logan yet. He could very well tell me to fuck off. Or he could have found my replacement by now.”
“So, go talk to him,” she says casually, like we didn’t just make some flight plans involving himwithouthim.
“Now?” I ask, my voice high-pitched.
Trevor appears from the kitchen, dropping off plates of food, and when he notices all of us, he comes to say hi.
I almost miss Larissa’s double-take, but I don’t miss the smile and the soft-spoken “Hi.”
“I’ll give you his number later,” T winks. “Julie, get your head out of your ass and go talk to him.”
“No better time than the present.” Manny shrugs.
“You can do this, Julie,” Larissa adds, cheering me on.
“Go get my brother, I guess,” Gavin says with a smirk.
And with that, a bar full of friends new and old, my bold, loving cousins, and a newfound sense of self, I grab my bag and run out to my car, headed straight to Logan.
I think grief pushes on the accelerator. Makes you move quicker. Makes you realize that life is short, that it is fragile, and what are you even doing if you’re not enjoying it?
Grief pushes on that accelerator. But, I very quickly realize, so does love.
Chapter thirty-five
Logan
When I hear theknock on the door, I run over to grab it. But standing in front of me is Julie, and that is unexpected. I catch her bouncy haircut, her sad eyes. She's wearing a dress again, something that looks so soft, so Julie.
