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But when life throws a curve, sometimes it can hit like a neutron bomb. Blowing up your entire world in a matter of seconds. It can change you from the person you thought you were, into someone you never thought you’d see again. Anger. Rage. Sadness.
Seeing Nico lying in their bed, in their home, was too much for her. On one hand, she wanted to climb in the bed and hold him tight, soothing away all his aches and pains with her loving touch. On the other hand, anger simmered under the surface. Her hands ached to punch, fight, hurt, bleed as they fought out the aggression.
She itched to call Max to demand he give her an assignment. Give her someone who needed to learn a lesson. The swirl of emotions felt good to her. It was as if the old Lavinia was rising to the surface to take over.
Knowing Max, he’d deny her outright. As her designated big brother, he took his role seriously. No matter how much she pushed and prodded, he never willingly put her in danger without three alternate escape plans. And he never allowed her to get her hands dirty when her need to inflict pain on others was climbing to the surface. Neither he nor Nico worked that way. They were protectors for those they loved. Maybe that’s what drew her to them all those years ago, and what kept her by their side through everything.
Glancing down at Nico, she wondered why she hadn’t filed for divorce yet. It had been six months with no word from him about coming home, or fixing what was broken between them. Why was she still waiting for him? Loving him?
Rubbing her hands along her legs, she gave a derisive laugh. Now she was really losing her shit. She’d been sitting here for fifteen minutes watching her estranged husband sleep. All the while, going down memory lane looking for the reason they couldn’t make it. Thinking of excuses to explain what had taken him away from her for so long.
Where was he sleeping at night? Who was he sleeping with? Did he even miss her? Did he care that she was lonely in this big house without him? Or that she cried herself to sleep at night at the thought of his never coming home again?
Did he even care?
He didn’t need this from her right now, and she needed to stop torturing herself. Lifting from his side, she walked toward the door. It was time to leave this room before she did something she’d regret. It was best that she not be around him right now, because his closeness tempted her in ways she needed to ignore.
“Happy Anniversary, Lavinia. You’ll always be my Angel,” his whispered words carried across the room. “I love you, Baby.”
Her stomach clenched, and tears immediately filled her eyes. Fists clenched in anger, she wanted to hurt something. Hurt someone. Looking at her husband lying in his weakened state, she lowered her head.
I hate him. I love him. I need him in my life. But he’s made me question if I’m worthy of that love. Did he ever love me or was I just convenient?
“Fuck you, Nico. You’ve always been the Demon that took my soul.”
He laughed low as he drifted off to sleep, “That’s my girl.”
