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I cursed my mother for giving me this choking fear of losing the ones you love.
In that moment, I absolutely hated her, and myself.
“Lesly told me you got your heart broken?”
The amusement in my father’s voice almost made me want to punch him, but I didn’t. Instead, I handed him the bottled water he requested from the bar. “Maybe.”
“There’s no maybe about it,” he said looking me over. “You’ve lost weight, and you haven’t summoned someone from the brothel in like two weeks. For you, that’s a fucking eternity.”
I gave him a side-eye as I sipped my own glass of Sprite after two weeks of nonstop drinking. My stomach needed a break, I shrugged. “I just don’t have time.”
My father watched for a long moment, long enough to force me to meet his gaze. “What?”
“You know I loved your mother, right?” he said this as if I didn’t already know. He frowned. “I loved her, and all it took was one text from some bastard to drive her to her death--”
“I know the story,” I cut in. I knew it well, it was one of the reasons those in the criminal underworld knew better then to ever mess with Hunter Blitz. The reputation had carried over to me. “Mom thought you were cheating, and she went to see and was taken hostage along with me.” I pressed my lips together. The guy killed her with a bit of darker methods than usual. “Mom died, and you dealt with it.”
“Yeah, I did. On the surface.” He sat his bottle down. “But deep down, bone deep, I still felt a fear so strong that I couldn’t sleep. I fucked as many women as I could, and never, ever fucking let one of them stay the night. Shit, I ran through them keeping myself protected from every single last one of them. And then…”
“Celeste?”
He nodded, staring not at me, but at something unseen. “She refused to get in my bed for three dates.” He snorted, shaking his head. “She wanted to know what I ate, what I’d done that day. She demanded I share my life with her not once asking me how much I made or asking for me to buy her something.”
“Was that so special?” I asked as I turned my eyes to the bubbles that steadily floated to the top of my glass. “Weren’t you bored?”
“No, she cared about me, not the millionaire, nor the better part of me.” He gave a suggestive look down. I snorted. “She wanted me, without any of that, and when I decided not to be afraid anymore--” he shrugged, smiling--“Well, we both know who’s sleeping in my bed now.”
I sighed. “So, your fucking point is?”
He clapped a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be a pussy and lose something just because you’re too afraid to take hold of it.”
The advice while warranted, was too late to help me, so I only smiled and nodded, letting the old man tell some stories about how he’d gotten started in the killing business. We were eventually joined by Grant and Lesly, the idiots claiming they’d banged a chick who had a snake tongue.
Growing bored with the conversation, I soon left, heading home.
The weather had become cool, losing the sticky warmth of August and moving into the chilly drifting winds of October.
The leaves had turned, and the few blocks I would be walking to my condo had become scenic.
As the city had already started putting up their lit jack-o-lanterns, the night streets were shiny from the early morning rain, they reflect the lights from the lit signs of the bars.
Stopping at the cross walk, I waited for the light to change when a familiar voice called to me.
“…Connor.”
Glancing behind me, I felt my eyes widened at the sight of the single person I’d been trying to see for the last month. Her eyes still tore right through me, “…Toya?”
She nodded. I was so shocked by seeing her, that when she lifted her hand, the shiny steel revealing itself to be a weapon. Instead of running, I stood my ground, meeting her stare head on.
I spread my arms wide. “…Do your worst.”
Her lashes fluttered before she gave me an answering smile, as she pulled the trigger.
