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Max’s tie was crooked. His knee-length black cashmere coat was hanging off one strong shoulder. Lips that she’d kissed every night for the past three months were in an angry line. The whites of his eyes were red-rimmed, and his brow was creased into a frown. Max didn’t look like himself. Not once in their time together had he ever been out in public looking less than perfect. Removing the phone from her ear, she disconnected the call since he was standing in front of her.
Unable to turn away, her heart pleaded with her brain to reach out to him. To pull him close to her. Let him know that everything would be okay. Kiana had to force her body not to move toward him, to allow him to do this on his own. If she touched him, she knew it would be over. The conversation they needed to have would never take place.
Before stepping in, she saw him turn to someone standing next to him. “Wait for me downstairs. I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I’ll call you.”
“Yes, Boss,” the deep voice returned, but she couldn’t see who was speaking.
“Who’re you talking to?” Leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the person before they left, her view was blocked by Max as he stepped inside.
“My driver.” Closing the door behind him, he turned to engage the locks. “Now, what were you saying about how we need a break?”
Stepping back toward the living room, Kiana wrapped her arms around her waist. With Max in the same room, her courage had fled. All she wanted to do was fling herself into his arms. Ask him to hold on to her. To never let go. Beg him to make these doubts go away as he made love to her all night. Tell her he was sorry for making her feel like she wasn’t important to him.
“Kiana. Answer me.” His voice was closer to her, right in her ear. He’d come up behind her in the few seconds she’d been turned around.
Taking in a shuddering breath, she exhaled. “You hurt me today. You disappeared on me last night. I hadn’t heard anything from you. I had no idea where you were. No idea what was happening.” Pausing, she took a deep breath. “Sleeping in that bed without you, I tossed and turned all night. I was worried out of my mind.”
Glancing up at him, she allowed the hurt she felt inside to be seen. Putting her guard down wasn’t something she did often, but she’d done that with Max. It allowed him to hurt her, which wasn’t a mistake she made twice.
“Next thing I know, you’re walking into my law firm, smooth as the day is long. Fresh suit, hair perfect, with your lawyer in tow. Hiring us to defend your nephew. Who’s been accused of a hate crime, no less.” She laughed a little, shaking her head in disbelief.
“My first thought was to wonder if you were with another woman. That maybe I wasn’t enough for you, or you were tired of me.”
“Never. I will never choose another woman over you.” His gruff voice made her pause.
Looking at him, she noticed the look in his eyes. The pain was real. The plea to believe him couldn’t be ignored. “If you say so,” she responded in a soft tone. No matter how much she wanted to believe him, with everything happening between them, she needed to slow things down.
“Then lo-and-behold, I find out the man I’ve been dating for the past six months…” She paused, turned away, and walked toward the window overlooking the Towne Center. Cars and people bustled along the streets, entering and exiting the stores and restaurants.
“I find out that you’ve kept secrets from me this entire time. About who you are. Who your family is. What they believe. It makes me wonder what other secrets you’re keeping. What else don’t I know about you?” She turned to him, her arms falling to her sides. “Tell me the truth. Do you believe what your family does? That blacks are inferior?”
If she weren’t so adamant about having the discussion, she’d almost be afraid. The look of anger on his face was startling.
“How can you ask me that?”
“Answer the question,” she pressed.
“No! I do not believe that. If I did, you wouldn’t be the woman I’d be fucking every night.” His anger and frustration were palpable.
Placing his hands in his pants pockets, his Adam’s apple moved up and down as if he were swallowing. She knew if they had any chance of moving beyond this, they couldn’t stop now.
“That doesn’t mean they didn’t try. My mom would take us home every six months or so. They tried to make me think the same way they did. I never did. Never understood their way of thinking. It got me into quite a few scrapes with my cousins. I have quite a few battle scars to remember those times. But none of that mattered. I wasn’t like them.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me this? All the times we’ve talked about your past, you never mentioned a word of this.”
“Baby, there are things about me, my past, that aren’t for polite company. I don’t want to scare you away. Sharing things about my past, how I grew up, is difficult for me. What if I open up, tell you everything, and you end up leaving?” Walking up to Kiana, he pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her body. “I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a selfish, jealous man. Having you walk away from me, from us, I don’t think I could take it. Don’t push me away, Ki. Not tonight.”
She didn’t want to relax into him. Her brain told her to pull away. To reject his attempt at comforting her. Everything else in her wanted to sink against his warmth. Inhale his favorite cologne as it clung to his skin. Accept every word coming out of his mouth as if it were the gospel truth. God, she needed this man so much. Craved him. Longed for him. Loved him.
Yes, she loved him. Maybe it was time he knew that as well. “How do you know I would run?”
“My world is not for you,” he admitted in a low voice. “It can be gritty and raw and unpredictable.”
Looking up into his eyes, she stared at him, almost daring him to answer her question honestly. “But you’re a businessman. Why would your world be gritty and raw? Is there something else you’re not telling me, Max?”
His hold on her tightened, and he used one of his hands to press her head back onto his chest. “Baby, I need you to trust me.”
“Trust goes both ways. Unless you trust me in return, I’m not sure we can get past this.” Sadness flowed through her at his continued hesitation. She wasn’t expecting him to tell her all the secrets of the world, but damn, she deserved more than this.
