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4
Monroe
I didn’t want to be alone, as all the sadness that I was trying to drink away came back full force. The memories were trying to creep up on me, reminders me of how alone I truly was. and If I could just…if I could just pretend with Dominic that I wasn’t alone, then maybe then I could ward off this feeling that was encompassing my heart. I shut my eyes as I waited for his answer. I didn’t want to beg, I would blame the alcohol for my lack of shamelessness. I needed to feel wanted right now, to not feel like I was a burden in someone’s life. To feel like the person chose to have me there. Even if it was for mere hours, I wanted it and I prayed to God, Dominic wouldn’t deny me.
“I can’t Monroe…Just let me take you home.” The moment those words left his lips, I felt like I was being gut punched.
Memories of earlier with my sister made me so vulnerable that I begged a man who used to be my best friend, yet never reached out to me when he left. I was ashamed of myself as I wrenched my hand out of his. Before the Uber began to move, I opened the door and got out. I tried to clear my throat as the tears began to escape my eyelids. I didn’t want to cry anymore, I didn’t want to allow those who hurt me for years to continue to destroy what was left of Roe. I was tired so very tired of being mentally and psychologically abused for reasons I didn’t understand, over and over again, whether it was them disappearing from my life or them repeating certain words to me, words that I could never erase from my subconscious.
“Roe!” I heard Dom call after me, but I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I didn’t care if it was a busy street as I ran across. The horns honking, the people shouting at me, none of it fazed me. At this moment even if I was hit by a car or if I was to face death, I would embrace it because it would be better than the hurt, I faced. My vision became blurry as I continued to just run, where was I running to? Honestly, I had no idea, but it was better than being here. It was better than being rejected by people who I had never done a thing to. An arm reached out and captured me from behind and I struggled to get out of their hold.
“Let me go!” I screamed yet the person didn’t relent.
“Monroe!” Dom yelled my name only making it worse. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted my heart to stop aching and to cry on my lonesome as I had been doing for the past seven years. I didn’t need him.
“Please…Please just let me go. Just leave me alone.”
I cried out wanting him to let me go, but the more I struggled to get out of his, grasp the tighter he held on to me. This made me break as I sobbed, I just wanted to be left alone and figure it all out on my own. Why was he holding on to me now? Why was he hurting me even more like this? Was his rejection not enough that he had to follow me and make me re-live it? Please, Dom, just leave me alone.
“Roe…” His baritone voice should’ve been soothing me yet all I did was break into a fit of tears that wouldn’t stop.
Everything in my life was in shambles and there was nothing I could do. He held me in his arms as I cried out to my heart’s content and he didn’t let go not once and I wailed harder. It made me yearn to be held just once in my life, to be told that it was going to be okay and that someone cared for me. Why was he doing this to me and not letting me go? I didn’t want to be held in this way. It was torture. It wouldn’t make anything better. Dom released me and turned me around to face him. I tried to wipe my tears away.
“Look at me Roe.”
I refused to look him in the eye. I had never shown my feelings to anyone in that way. His hands came up and cupped my face as he lifted my head up to look at him. I had nothing to say to him as I looked into his eyes. He reminded me of my old best friend, but I knew he was no longer that boy I loved.
“Tell me what to do Roe…Tell me and I’ll do it. Just please stop crying.”
“I’m done crying, so you don’t have to do anything.” I said to him as my hands came up wrapping themselves around his wrists. I wanted him to let go of my face.
“Monroe, something is wrong, and I know it. Just talk to me.”
“That’s the thing Dom, you don’t know me anymore and that’s okay. I don’t need you to know me. I just need you to let go of me.”
Something I said triggered a hard look on his face. His features hardened as he stared at me with such cold calculated eyes, it made me shudder. He leaned in closer to my face looking at me with a determination in his eyes.
“I will never let go of you again Roe, you hear me?” I opened my mouth to say something and he kissed me. My brain spasmed.
~E~
Dominic
I kissed her. Like a man who had never kissed anyone before, I kissed her. I kissed her like I needed her more than I needed the air that I absorb in my lungs. No one and nothing could have changed this moment for me, I’ve waited so long to be able to do this. I groaned as she kissed me back hard just as I did to her. I didn’t care who drove by or saw us as my arms wrapped around her body. I wanted more of her, I needed more of her. I wanted to consume her and take everything from her. Drive myself so deep into her that she wouldn’t be able to see anyone else but me and I made it known in the way that I was kissing her. She was mine and no one else could have her ever again.
I broke off the kiss so that we could get going. I made up my mind, she was going to stay with me.
“Let’s go.” My voice came out rougher than it should’ve.
Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at me for a spell.
“Where?” She asked.
“First off, we’re getting your things and you’re staying with me. Don’t fight me on this Roe. If you remember well, I can be very stubborn.”
She rolled her eyes. “Pigheaded is what I would call it.”
