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“Hey, Amelia. Are you all right?” Rueben’s voice pulls me out of my trance.
I look at him confused, unsure of how to tell them or even where to start from.
God, I’m such a mess.
“Amelia?” he calls again, and I startle.
“What? Oh, I-I'm fine.”
“Sure there’s nothing wrong? You’ve been acting a little weird all day,” Josiah says, while Tanner merely stares at me.
Has he told them about my disappearing act today?
Somehow, it doesn’t seem like he has, since none of them have mentioned the fact that I disappeared, or tried to remind me of the reasons why I can’t do things like that.
“I, um…” I pause to let out a breath and steady my shaky voice. My hands are behind me so they won’t see how shaky they are.
“I have something to tell you,” I try again, this time managing to get out all the words.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
I nod and then shake my head, unsure how to say it. There’s no way to know how they’ll feel about this when I tell them. We’ve only known for such a short time, and I can’t picture how they’ll react to it.
My eyes close as I breathe in deeply and say the words that might change the trajectory of things.
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence follows my confession, and I open my eyes slowly, wringing my fingers as I prepare for the shock and horror I’ll find when I look at them.
“You’re pregnant?” Rueben asks. The shock is evident in his voice. I search his face for the answer to the question I’ve been asking myself, but I can't tell how he feels. There’s nothing to read except shock.
“Wow, Amelia, I—” Josiah starts to speak, but Tanner lets out an angry sound.
“All that can wait. There are other time-sensitive matters to deal with,” he says sharply.
I rear back in shock. While Tanner has always been the most abrasive, I never would have imagined that he would speak to me in such a manner. And to think he was such a gentleman earlier on. I thought we had a moment outside.
“What?”
My voice is small. What could be more important than what I’ve just said that he’s willing to push it away?
“Does this not deserve at least a little bit of your time so we can figure things out?” I ask him, and he looks apologetic, but it’s clear that he will not be budging.
I look at the others, both standing there silently. Although there’s a look of disapproval on their faces, they say nothing to him about the manner that he’s choosing to handle things.
What is going on?
My world is about to crumble, and I don’t know how to handle it. I take a step back, unsure of what to do, but Tanner steps towards me and stops me.
“I’m sorry this is not going the way that you expected it to, and I promise we’ll get back to it, but there is something else that we need to handle before it’s too late,” he says.
I remain silent, unsure of what to say as he waits for me to respond.
What does he expect me to say to that?
“Tanner, I don’t think now is the time for that,” Josiah says.
“No, Josiah. There’s no other time. I understand that this is all coming at a bad time, but we need to do this now. It’s now or never.”
