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“It’s a pay cut,” he reminded me.
“I know. I’ll figure it out. I just want to be back in the field. It’s what I really love.”
He nodded, sighing. “It’ll be a little while, then,” he said. “Until I figure out who can replace you in the office.”
“Thanks, Paul.” Knowing I’d be back in the field made me happy, and so I headed back to my desk with a renewed sense of hope. It would make things tougher with Katie. But if her mother was miserable all the time, that would make things harder for her too, right?
* * *
The wedding approached, despite my best efforts to ignore it. On one hand, I couldn’t wait to see Katie tossing flower petals and skipping down the aisle in her official role as flower girl. But on the other, I already knew how handsome Sly would look in his suit, and I could anticipate how horribly awkward it would be to see him again.
I contemplated numerous ways to get out of going, but having Katie in the wedding made it a little complicated. I was her ride, not to mention her guardian. I didn’t really have a choice. Plus, I’d pretty much promised Zara that I would attend.
And so, on Saturday morning, I packed our bags, and we headed to the little lakefront resort where Zara and Beck were getting married. It was three hours from Half Full, which meant spending the night. Zara had been kind enough to reserve one of the little cabins by the lake, holding it for me even when I’d assured her two weeks ago that I wouldn’t need it. She was right, though. It would be a long drive to make twice in one day. I’d stay the night and we’d leave early in the morning.
Now, as we drove between the adorable cabins, taking in the pristine greenery of the setting and seeing the water sparkle just off the little decks of the A-frame structures, I was glad. It would be a fun adventure for us both. I would just do my best to avoid Sly.
No problem.
We checked in during the late morning, and the resort was quiet. Katie and I explored the lakefront and then, at about noon, went inside our cabin to get ready for the ceremony.
All the events were taking place on the resort property, and as I helped Katie into her new fancy dress shoes, I could hear activity ramping up outside as more guests began to arrive and preparations got underway in the big reception space around the lake a ways from our cabin.
I showered and curled my hair, taking a little extra time with my appearance, as if it would make any difference at all. I knew Sly would not see me in a little extra eye shadow and change his mind about everything in his life and where I might fit in it, but it felt a bit like strengthening my armor. I’d look amazing enough to survive whatever the day might throw at me.
I was here for Zara and Beck. And Katie. And I would do my best to be happy for them and to enjoy myself.
“You ready?” I asked Katie as I slipped on my own heels.
She didn’t answer. She was staring up at me with big blue eyes shining. “Mama, you look beautiful. Like a movie star or a lawyer.” Katie had recently been considering a career in law because someone had told her that women lawyers were very powerful. She considered this a high compliment, I knew, though I also suspected that she thought lawyers might have magic similar to wizards, thanks to the use of the word “powerful.”
“Thanks, bear. You look very beautiful, too. Like a tiny lawyer.”
She beamed and then pulled me to the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door and we stood there, admiring ourselves and each other for a long moment.
“I can’t wait to see Sylvester,” she told me as we finally moved toward the door of the cabin.
My heart ached inside me. How did I prepare her for the fact that he might not react to her quite the same way he had before? I didn’t know, so I didn’t try.
“I know, honey.” I locked the cabin and tucked the key into my little purse, and we stepped down off the porch, joining the scattered flow of guests heading for the chapel at one end of the resort. Zara had told me to drop Katie with her and Violet in the bride’s room inside the front doors.
I knocked, and Violet answered, beaming at me and Katie, and grasping her hands in front of her at her chest. “Oh don’t you look beautiful?” she asked us both. “We’ll take good care of this little princess—”
“Lawyer,” Katie corrected.
“Um, yes. You go and enjoy yourself, Clara, and we’ll see you after the ceremony.”
Once I’d delivered Katie, I turned back to the main entrance of the intimate little space, steeling myself with a deep breath.
The chapel was a big A-frame structure, like many of the resort buildings, only the walls were inlaid with stained glass showing forest scenes and giving the rows of benches inside an ethereal glow. Guests were filing in as a string quartet at the front of the space played classical music, and a deep calm filled me as I breathed it all in.
Sam greeted me at the end of one row, taking my hands in his. He looked healthier than I’d seen him, a nice flush in his cheeks.
“I’m so glad to see you. You look beautiful,” he said. It was the most words I thought Sly’s dad had ever spoken to me.
“You look well,” I told him. “Thanks so much for having me. I’m so happy for Beck.”
He nodded. “Good to see one of my sons doing it right.”
