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Clara: Hey. Katie’s scared that you’re hurt. If you have a chance, can you text to let us know you’re okay? The fight scared her.
I dropped the phone. My heart was doing unfamiliar things inside me. I’d made Katie worry, and for that I felt awful. And knowing they were both here, that they’d seen me deck Hayes...
How had I gotten into this situation? Why should a five-year-old’s fears matter to me?
Goddamit, I wasn’t a family guy. I was a hockey player. That was it. And I’d managed to screw that up now because I’d let my head get into a completely different place than it belonged.
We ended up winning the game, and I took the beating the coach offered, along with the disappointment of my teammates. I deserved every word of it. By the time I was heading out to the restaurant where Mom had suggested we meet after the game, I was feeling more defeated than I could remember feeling before. I was heading down the wrong path. And the only thing I could see that had changed was this situation with Clara. That, and confirmation that my family didn’t think I could handle being a contributing member. I was just there for entertainment, apparently.
I stepped into Tecate, the Mexican restaurant a lot of the fans hit after local games. Julius Ramon was at the bar, nursing a beer. I gave him a quick salute. The guy had been driving the Zamboni as long as I’d been with the Wombats. And he had a weird way about him. Like he knew shit.
I did not especially like the disappointed look he was giving me now, as I headed for the end of the restaurant where my family sat in a booth. With Clara and Katie.
Fuck.
“Silly! You’re okay!” Katie spotted me and came bolting through the restaurant, flinging herself into my arms.
I picked her up, cursing myself for taking comfort in her little arms around my neck, her soft scent filling my head. I didn’t deserve any of it. “I’m fine, Katie.”
“That other guy hit you! I saw him.” She pulled back to stare at my face, and then rubbed a hand down my cheek. My heart crumbled inside my chest.
“I hit him first, Katie. And I shouldn’t have.”
She didn’t say anything and I realized my whole family was watching us, waiting for me to join them. “Let’s go eat, okay?”
She nodded, but I sensed that she was disappointed in me too. I turned to head to the table, but someone stepped in front of me.
“Remi?”
Oh shit. Jason. From my MBA cohort.
I shook my head, hoping maybe he’d just disappear, that this wouldn’t actually happen. I only turned my camera on when it was an absolute requirement, and then I wore a hat pulled low over my eyes. A Wombats cap. I was such an idiot.
“It is you. Hey man! Oh, shit...you’re...” I watched him put it all together. “You’re Sly Remington!”
Katie was watching all this in fascination as I held her on my hip. “I call him Silly because his name is Sillllvesterrrrr.”
Jason grinned. “Hey man, wow, that’s so awesome. Rough game,” he said, shaking his head.
“Yeah. Well, I’ll see you in class,” I told him, sidling away from him. I didn’t want to be rude to a fan, but this was a whole other thing.
“Okay,” he said, still sounding a little overeager about the whole thing. “See you later.”
“That was weird,” Katie said.
I put her down as we got to the table. Everyone’s eyes were on me, and I felt like the pressure was literally pushing me into the ground.
“Hey guys. Thanks for coming. Sorry for the...well, sorry.” I slid in next to Clara, since that was the only open spot at the table.
“Hey,” she said softly. My heart ripped apart a bit more inside me.
“Hi.” I couldn’t meet her eyes.
“Your team won,” Dad commented.
“Yeah.”
“Wasn’t sure if you knew since you missed more than half the game,” he said.
