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“You can stop,” I told her. “Whatever’s going to happen there will happen. It’s complicated.”
She raised an eyebrow and poured hot water into the mugs, then came to the table after placing sugar and milk in the center. She slid a steaming mug to me. “What do you mean, ‘complicated’?’”
“She has a kid, for starters.” Weirdly, this wasn’t the deal breaker I’d always thought it would be.
“Do you like her?”
“I’m not twelve, Mom.”
“Do you like her, Sly? Like you did in high school?” Mom was watching me closely, and I knew she already saw much more than I’d told her. Moms had that scary kid-perception ability. Like how she’d always known when I was lying as a kid, even though I was an excellent liar.
“Yeah,” I said, trying not to give too much away. “I mean, of course. She’s gorgeous.”
“And?”
I stared at Mom and then dropped my eyes to my tea. “Let’s just leave it at that for now, okay?”
I could feel my mother’s eyes on me for a beat more, and then she sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I just want to see both my boys happy.”
“I’m happy already, and it has nothing to do with your neighbor.” Of course even I was starting to think I could be even happier with her neighbor.
“I’m glad.”
And I was glad that Mom was willing to accept that answer and that we weren’t going to do a deep dive into my mental state to look at all the ways hockey wouldn’t keep me warm at night. That’s what the team psych was for, anyway.
“Hey, Mom?”
Mom’s eyes lifted in question and she made a little noise.
“Can we start cleaning out the apartment over the garage tomorrow?”
Mom sighed, passing a hand across her forehead. “I told you we would, but I don’t know if I’m up to clearing all that out,” she said. “Which is why it’s still shoved in there.” A lot of what was stored up there had gotten shoved into the little apartment when Mom’s dad passed, leaving her with a house to empty and too many decisions to be made. I suspected she’d compensated by simply moving most of his things to the apartment and ignoring them.
“I could help with that.”
My mother held my gaze for a long beat, and I could see the emotions flickering through her light blue eyes. Finally, she nodded. “That would be a big help, actually. I’ve just had such a hard time getting myself to go up there at all. It’s too much.”
“I know, Mom.” A flash of precognition hit me – what would it be like when my own parents were gone? What must it be like for Clara?
“But it makes sense. If you’re going to stay all summer, you shouldn’t have to sleep in your childhood bedroom, no matter how much I enjoy knowing you’re in there.”
I smiled at the woman who’d always looked out for me, who I knew would always see me as a little boy in some ways.
“Thanks.” I’d get to work on that the next day. The idea of having a private place was nice, but I wasn’t going to pretend that I wasn’t also considering the possibility of getting Clara alone somewhere at some point, and with Katie and my parents around, that was a bit more complicated than I’d have liked.
* * *
Sunday morning was busy. I’d already pulled half the boxes from the apartment down to the garage by noon, and was beginning to sort things into piles to donate and keep. Of course Mom was going to be the final say, but I knew that she was immobilized by the decisions, so if she just wanted me to handle it, I would.
The apartment was dusty and had that unlived in, unloved feeling without all the boxes and extra furniture shoved into haphazard piles across its little living room. The place wasn’t big—just a bedroom and then a kind of all-purpose space that consisted of the living room, a little eating space in the bay window that looked out over the driveway, and a kitchenette to one side. There was a bathroom with a decent-sized shower too.
It would work, I thought with satisfaction. I’d just need to upgrade the bed if I wanted to get any decent sleep through the off-season. If my parents wanted to use this as a guest space, I’d make it as nice as I could. I could imagine Beck and Zara staying here someday, maybe with a crib in the corner. Strangely, for the first time, I considered that maybe one day I’d be the one with a family, but as soon as I had the thought, I put it away. The immediate need was an air conditioning unit. It was swampy up there, and the old window unit was on its last legs.
By noon, I was headed into town. I ran my errands for the apartment and ended up at the rink with a half-hour to spare before Katie and Clara showed up.
I’d called Arnold Leighton, the guy who ran the place and had since I’d been in high school, and he was happy to meet me there and set us up for a few hours. I’d mentioned to him that I was staying a while and he’d offered to let me get on the ice in the early afternoons before the summer leagues practiced.
I usually made a point of staying off skates for at least a full month when the season was over, but now I was itching to feel the speed and freedom that came with moving across the ice. It was in my blood, and when there weren’t six guys in pads waiting to knock me off my feet, skating was pure fun.
