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Sly was quickly winding his way into our lives, and I was beginning to realize that right now was the time to stop it if I wanted to.
The thing was, I was realizing I didn’t really want to.
CHAPTER9
SLY
STANDING ON ONE FOOT
Iwas happy for my brother and Zara, of course. It was a beautiful party, and they really looked like a great fit—totally in love, ready to plunge into a future together. And I wasn’t unhappy for me, either.
I’d spent the whole meal by Clara’s side, and every now and then I indulged in a little fantasy that we were on a real date. That I’d finally get the girl at the end of the night.
But Katie was right there.
It was hard to sit through dinner. It was also hard making polite conversation with those around us, realizing that with every word I was more assured at Clara’s kindness, her intelligence, and her self-assurance. She was beautiful and wise, and such a good mother. It was hard admitting that my mother had been right. This was the kind of woman I wanted.
Actually, this was the woman I wanted. But could a woman like Clara actually be interested in a guy like me? Had anything changed since I was the jock with the impossible crush on the good girl? And beyond that, I was in the middle of something. Something important. Clara, while a beautiful and welcome distraction, would still be a distraction.
We made polite conversation with those around us, and I did my best to put on the charm for these folks at the table we’d just met, who turned out to be good friends of Zara’s parents back in Richmond. But my mind was not in the game. It was very much focused on the increasing desire I felt for Clara, and on the subtle hints I thought I was picking up that she might feel the same way. Shared glances, a brush of her fingers on my arm as she reached for her water.
Katie was a good tension breaker. Every now and then, she’d share a random fact with me out of the blue and usually around a mouthful of rice or salmon.
“I can stand on one foot longer than any of my friends.”
“I read at a third grade level, did you know that?”
“My friend Toby has a pet dragon. It’s super small. Like a little dinosaur. Its name is Hamlet.”
The longer we sat at that table, the party going on around us in the form of laughter, soft music, and tinkling silverware, the more I learned about Katie, and the more I wanted to know particular things about Clara.
Did she like a light touch or something more assertive?
Did she let out sexy little sounds when she was turned on?
Did her hands explore when she was being touched, loved, or did she stay still, gripping the sheets and just feeling?
I shouldn’t care, but I was done acting like I wasn’t going to let things progress just as far as Clara was willing to take them. I’d waited my whole life for this chance. Or that’s what it felt like, at least.
“I had a really good time,” Katie told me when we were back in the car, heading home. Her little face was right in the center of the back seat when I glanced in the mirror, but her presence filled the whole car, jovial and sweet, full of excitement after a big night out. It was hard to resent her presence.
“I’m glad. I hope your mom had a good time too,” I said, my voice dropping though I didn’t plan for it to.
The dark streets slid by on either side of my car, lights like watercolor streaks against the deep grey of a summer night. I risked a glance at Clara.
“I did,” she said quietly, and for a minute I worried that the studious girl had gone back into her safe space, that she was using the quiet and the dark to analyze the new awareness between us, to decide if it was right or wrong.
I was afraid what she’d decide.
But then her hand crept quietly across the center console, finding my shoulder and squeezing gently before returning to her own side of the car. Sudden warmth poured through me. That tiny touch seemed to promise so much more.
Or it could have been just a friendly gesture. But no, there was something here, wasn’t there? Why was I so uncertain? Things were never this complex with the women I usually dated.
I pulled up in front of Clara’s house and turned the car off, which brought the dome lights up. Somewhere along the way, exuberant Katie had drifted off to sleep, but the alteration of motion had snapped her back awake.
“We’re home?” she asked, groggy.
“Yep, let’s get you to bed,” Clara suggested.
