Page 29 of Open Your Heart


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After a while, she seemed to be sleeping, so I took a seat as well, and made a call.

“Hey Doc,” I said, leaving a message for the local vet. “I’ve got a dog here that has a pretty nasty gash. Think she might’ve met the mountain lion, or maybe a bear. Anyway, I’ve got her in my house, and think she probably needs some attention. Oh, and doc? She’s about to have puppies, too. Could probably use a hand with that.” I hung up, knowing full well that Annie Gish probably wouldn’t call me back until Monday morning, and then only after she’d gotten into her office, which was just outside Kings Grove up by the stables. She was a great vet, but she was a little bit scatterbrained, and everyone knew she forgot her phone places constantly. I hoped she might have actually taken her phone home and not left it in a stall in the barn or at the diner, as she’d been known to do.

I breathed out a sigh, grateful for the distraction from the kiss I’d just shared with Harper—the kiss that really should never have happened. I needed to keep my distance there—for both our sakes. I liked Harper. I liked her a lot, but dragging her into the mess that was my life, or my mind at least, wasn’t fair to her. She had plans to leave, and I needed to respect that. I swallowed down the feelings I was developing for her and mentally set that kiss away. And then I made another call, because I’d promised my sister I would.

“Hey Tuck,” I said, when my friend answered the phone.

“Cam?” he laughed. “That really you, man? It’s been a while.”

“It has.” I said.

“Good to hear your voice. Doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Listen, are you busy lately? Interested in a project?”

“What are we talking about?” he asked.

“I need a cameraman in August, maybe a week or so before then to get things planned.”

He laughed, and I realized how long it had been since I’d talked to any of the friends I had in Los Angeles. “I was kinda hoping this thing might start more immediately. Work’s been hard to find. Things are tight.”

Tuck was strong and capable, and I knew Chance would hire him on if I vouched for him. “You could work construction until then. You’d have to come live up in the mountains here…”

“Sounds amazing,” he said.

We went from there, and Tuck promised to be up in the next couple days, which for him could mean tomorrow or three weeks from now. I checked on the dog again, watching her side rise and fall slowly enough to make me believe she was sleeping somewhat peacefully, and went to bed feeling worried and conflicted. Maybe Harper was right about the curse—some rational part of my brain knew she probably was. But on the off chance she wasn’t, I was worried. What would happen to her if she was wrong? I was already far more attached than I should be. And that could be devastating for us both.

Chapter 10

HARPER

Istood just inside the door after Cam and I separated, my heart racing, my breath practically coming in pants. I tried to channel my yoga teacher to calm both my breathing and my mind. Be curious, she would say. Explore your feelings, your thoughts. Don’t react, don’t judge, just observe.

I was observing myself reacting to the fact that I’d just kissed my landlord. Or had he kissed me? I’d definitely touched him first, but I couldn’t stand the self-condemnation I’d heard in his voice and felt in every atom of energy around him since we’d been on the deck at Connor and Maddie’s. He really believed he was cursed, and when I let myself think about the string of tragedies that had followed him through life, it was really no surprise. My heart broke imagining a little boy, a young man, and this fully grown adult, believing he was actually doomed—that his love was capable of dooming others. It was mythic. And while I subscribed to the occasional woo-woo sentiment (just ask Wind about my short-lived green tea fast or my commitment to making my own kombucha, which, as it turns out is very difficult to do when you live in a tiny Manhattan apartment), I did not believe for a second that Cam was cursed. Or that I was risking anything other than my heart by getting too close to him.

That thought fully formed, I did realize I didn’t exactly need to be rushing into some kind of romantic entanglement here, considering I had solid plans to leave soon. And I’d managed to trip right into this after how many days back? I hadn’t even officially started work yet.

All in all, I’d had a great night, cemented a solid working friendship with my new boss, Mike, and gotten to know a few other folks around the village. I enjoyed Cam’s sister a lot, and knew Maddie and I would work well together as her wedding neared. I just hoped I could live up to her expectations.

Miranda and Sam were sweet, too, and while I didn’t get to talk to them much, I felt immediately welcome among this group of close friends. I hoped maybe I’d have a few people to hang out with now, for as long as I was here. Though it wasn’t my dream town, and my heart missed New York sometimes, I was starting to feel settled here, even at home.

The big house whispered around me and I did my best not to think about how many empty spaces the place held, about how anything could have come in while I’d been out, despite my locked doors. I knew rationally that Kings Grove was a safe place. I knew nothing had come inside while I’d been out at dinner. I knew all of this, and still, I had to force myself not to listen carefully for the floor creaking upstairs, for the sounds that would reveal that I was not actually as alone as I believed.

I’d just about talked myself back to calmness (after searching all the rooms—the only way to put my mind at rest, and though I felt silly doing it, I still walked the floors, opening doors and peering under beds) when that eerie screeching yowl filtered through the closed windows from the dark hillside beyond my house. I shuddered as my heart picked up speed once again. Between my thoughts about Cam and the creeping fear that seemed to linger in the darkness, I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping now.

Instead, I streamed a yoga class to the television and tried to embrace my mind’s desire to churn, tried to accept myself as I was (potentially nuts), and breathe deeply into my stomach. After an hour of that, I was still nervous, but now I was sweaty, too. I ran water over my wrists at the kitchen sink (the thought of a shower alone at night in a big house was beyond me at that point) and filled a glass. While I stood there drinking it, I allowed my gaze to drift to the lit windows of Cam’s house.

Even though he was there and I was here, the knowledge that he was home, and awake, actually calmed me in a way nothing else had since I’d walked in the door of my dark house. I let my eyes rest on his bright window for a long minute, and thought about the way I felt kissing him earlier.

Warmth rolled through me when I thought of him, of his intense eyes, his troubled words. Part of me wanted to win him over, to accept the challenge he posed and do my damndest to charm him into wanting me again. And a bigger part of me knew I should focus on my goals—get enough money to pay my dad back and get out of here.

I put the television on low, pulled the snuggly throw blanket around me, and curled up with a cup of tea, my mind lingering on the bright troubled intensity of those icy blue eyes, the way those corded arms had felt around me, the slide of his hands up my back. And when I finally closed my eyes, I found myself dreaming of the kiss I’d shared with Cam. I dreamed I was weak enough to pursue him even when I knew I shouldn’t.

* * *

Mornings had beenhard since I’d moved into the big house in Kings Grove. Since I wasn’t sleeping well, and generally wasn’t sleeping in a bed, I often woke to the fuzzy gray light coming through the front windows as the sun rose, and found myself stretching out kinks and knots gained by sleeping on the couch.

“Ow,” I moaned, leaning my head to one side after sitting up, trying to stretch the opposite side of my neck where a tight painful knot had formed. One of my arms was asleep and my legs hurt from being curled beneath me. I was going to have to start sleeping in the bed upstairs, no matter how hard it was to fall asleep with a huge house sitting around me, the space and vacancy yawning like a living breathing thing.

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