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"He offered me a job. Actually, he offered me the firm. To take it over when he retires." The pride I felt in telling her this made my spine straighten, my chest swell. And seeing the smile on her face the light in her eyes, I felt like I’d made her proud too. And maybe it shouldn’t matter if Juliet was proud of me, but it did. It mattered to me. I’d done this on my own, and I wanted her to know it.
Juliet's fingers tightened around mine. "That's wonderful! I told him how amazing you are. I'm so glad he listened."
"You told him?" I pulled my hand back, suddenly confused. "You spoke to him? When?"
"Well, I mean, when I first booked the service, obviously. But I called him this morning, too."
"Why?" The pleasure that had been tingling through me was feeling a lot more like shock suddenly.
"I was worried he might believe Chad, and I wanted to make sure he knew how fantastic you are."
I stood up before I'd even thought to do it. "I can't believe you did that," I said, anger flaring inside me and muddling my emotions. I hadn't earned Austin's offer all on my own. Juliet had lubricated this situation just like she'd done with everything else. All the pride I'd felt glowing inside me as I'd considered Austin's offer dimmed, as I realized the one thing I thought I'd gotten on my own merits had been just one more bit of charity.
"Jace?" Juliet said, rising slowly from the table. "Why do you look angry?"
I didn't want to yell at her—this was just one more example of Juliet doing something nice. Something I should be grateful for. But I didn't want to be grateful to her. I wanted to be so much more than that to her.
I couldn't talk to her right now. I didn’t know what to do, as shame flooded every cell inside me. I was nothing. I was so stupid. My world was crumbling again, my freshly recreated image of myself falling to pieces at my feet.
“I can’t believe you did that,” I said, my voice unrecognizable.
“I …” the confusion in Juliet’s eyes was the hardest thing to take. She had been doing something good. She was always doing something good. Why couldn’t I just accept her gifts and be happy?
“I need to think. I need some time.”
“Time for what? To think about what, Jace? We finally get to be together. I want to be with you.”
I stared at her, her perfect face shining in the moonlight, her big eyes wide and trusting. She was a good person. The best. And I thought she probably deserved much more than a man she’d have to keep saving over and over again. More than me.
"I'm gonna call it a night,” I told her. I knew we had to talk more, but I couldn’t do it right then. “I'll let Christian know you're still up." I went inside without looking at her again, hating myself with every step.
Chapter Thirty-One
Juliet
Iwatched Jace walk away, knowing he was angry or hurt, wishing he would stay and talk to me, tell me how I could fix it. Because everything I’d done today had been so that we could be together. Because that was what I wanted. I wanted something for me that wasn’t about perceptions or spin. Something that felt good and true.
But maybe it was already too late?
The party had been a trial—knowing Alison was watching me closely based on what Chad had told her that morning about me and Jace, knowing she was likely to write something not about how I was moving forward in a new relationship ahead of my next big film, but about how I’d faked a relationship to distract the world from what a disaster my life was.
Because wasn’t that exactly what I’d done?
After Chad left, I’d made quite a few phone calls. First to Zac, to let him know he could go ahead and release the tape, and that my attorney would be in touch with his about the settlement I’d already offered. Then, to Austin, letting him know exactly what kind of employee he had in Chad. And in Jace, of course. And then I’d called my agent to let her know we would need to prepare for some fallout.
But instead of fear, I felt excitement. I felt as strong and confident as my little sister looked when she was beating up the heavy bag in the basement. I felt like I was in charge for a change. And it felt good.
I didn’t know if it was playing Warcraft, or maybe just talking to Gran that had helped me come to terms with the fact that I needed to live life for me. Hell, maybe it was the joint I’d borrowed.
Whatever it was, I’d come to Gran’s party a different version of myself. A better version.
And that’s a lot of what Alison Sands and I talked about. I couldn’t control what she wrote. If she decided to go with some kind of scandalous starlet and bodyguard piece, I couldn’t stop her. If she decided to make it even worse, that was up to her. I told her the truth—about everything. And what she did with it was out of my hands.
By the time we were all relaxing on the back porch, I was imagining myself going to Jace’s room, spending the night with him and enjoying the freedom that came with not hiding.
But Jace seemed to have other plans, and when he left me sitting on the porch alone, I began to wonder if I’d misread everything. If I’d been wrong about what lay between us. If I’d been wrong about everything.
Tomorrow we’d head back to Los Angeles. I needed to talk to him. Now.
