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I sighed and moved away from Jace, staring up at the ceiling. Ryan. Right. I hadn't spoken to him since he'd been at the house. My stomach churned as I glanced at Jace and then sat up, wishing I could stop time from advancing so we could continue this, continue pretending real life could ever be this good. "I know. I'll go. I'll buy tickets today."
"Leave tomorrow. Alison Sands fromHollywood Entertainerwants to speak to you Friday morning and take some pictures, and then return Saturday evening for the party."
The party. Gran. The magazine. My disaster of a brewing scandal. Ryan.
Real life came rushing back and smashed into my chest like a train, forcing a deep sigh from me. I heard Jace roll toward me and felt him put a comforting hand on my back.
"Okay. We'll head to Maryland tomorrow." I put down the phone and texted my sister to let her know I was coming out. I didn't give her any specifics, since I didn't have them yet. Then I texted Ryan McDonnell, asking him to be ready to go tomorrow. He had already known the date of the trip, and his reply didn’t indicate any surprise at being called last minute.
"Taking a trip, huh?" Jace's voice came low and deep like rocks tumbling over one another, and my stomach leapt in response. I turned my head and then gave up the pretense of getting up and crawled back into bed, pushing myself along the ridges of hard muscle of his body as he wrapped me in his arms.
"I'll need security," I murmured into his chest.
He didn't answer, and when I pulled back my head to look up at him, my hair on the pillow between us, his eyes were cloudy and worried. I wondered what he was thinking, how he would handle seeing us play out the pretense of this fake relationship. But I wondered if he was worried about more than that, about his family.
"You thinking about leaving your mom? Your brother?" I should tell him I didn't need him, that he should stay here. But the thought of spending the weekend across the country, out of his arms and away from the sense of complete understanding I felt around him was almost impossible to bear.
He chuckled then, and some of my worry skittered away. "No. I should be thinking about them. But I was thinking about you. About how things will go out there. With him."
"Ryan."
A look of distaste curled Jace's lip, wrinkled his brow. "Him. Yeah."
It wasn't right, but my heart warmed at the look of jealousy on Jace's face, and when his arm tightened around my waist ever so slightly, I smiled. "It's just pretend."
"So if we go to Maryland, what will that look like? At night, will you be in my bed?"
"Of course I will," I said quickly, but then my mind began to work through the idea. It would depend, I guessed, on how far I had to take the pretense with Ryan. Did I have to make my sister and Gran believe we were together? Gran had a tendency to blurt things out, and if she blew my cover while the magazine people were around ... I looked into the dark eyes I'd begun seeing in my dreams, tightened my grip on the body I felt even when he was away from me. "Oh shit. Actually ..."
"That's what I figured. You'll need to make them all believe it. And if you're with me ... if you even look at me ..." He trailed off, the storms rolling back across his face. He closed his eyes. "Even the idea of him putting his hands on you ..." Jace pulled me more tightly to his body, and I let my hand slide between us, grasping him gently and stroking until he let out a pained groan.
"This," I told him, continuing the motion and then sliding myself over him until we were lined up, until I could feel him right against my entrance. "This is what you need to remember. I'm yours," I told him, sliding myself down his length as he blew out a sharp breath. We’d abandoned condoms when I’d told him I was on birth control and my doctor had confirmed I was clean, despite Zac’s best efforts.
"Fuck," he groaned, the sound coming from him like an involuntary prayer, rasping and pained and desperate.
As I moved, I whispered to him. "I want you to think about this while we're there. About what's real. Because being with you? It's the first time I've ever felt like there's something real in my life, something that matters, something I can't give up." I spoke as I pressed my hands into his chest, moving in rhythm, and his big palms wrapped the sides of my hips, holding me there and guiding me.
Jace opened his eyes when I'd stopped talking, stopped making promises. And the look in them sent flames racing down my spine, bursting to life at my center and in my chest. Want, need ... something else ... At that second, I knew I could live the rest of my life happily if only Jace would look at me like that now and then. Like I made the earth turn for him. Like I was important. Like this was everything.
"Yes," I whispered as he began thrusting up beneath me, holding me with his huge hands so he could use me the way he needed to. "God, yes."
I ground myself on top of him, seeking the pressure I needed to release, never dropping his gaze as every cell inside me seemed to align with him. I was making him a promise with my body, with my heart, and I was sealing it with the shared release we found as we stared into each other's eyes.
And though neither of us said the word, I was certain as Jace held me fixed with his hands, his cock, his eyes—that what passed between us was the culmination of a year of quiet confidence and a couple weeks of building trust. It was the outcome of quiet nights sharing truth and long days spent believing in one another. It was something more than employment or protection and it lived outside the complications that lay between us.
Jace loved me. And I loved him.
And it wouldn't matter what ridiculous charade we had to go play for the world to see.
Love was strong. I was sure of it.
Chapter Eighteen
Jace
Juliet and I packed, my efforts taking about fifteen minutes before I went in to watch her struggle to decide what she needed over the course of several hours. When she’d finally finished, she had several hard suitcases and an overnight bag.
“Think you forgot anything?” I teased.
