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Chapter 5
Tess
“Honey, what are you doing home so early?” My mom is sitting in her spot on the sofa watching daytime television.
“Something happened at work and my boss gave me the rest of the day off.” I wander into the room, but don’t sit down. “How are you? How is Sal? Anything I can do for you?”
“We’re alright. I read to him a bit this morning. I think he liked that. He’s sleeping right now.”
“Okay, then I’m going to go upstairs for a bit.” Leaning down, I kiss the top of her head. Mom’s attention is already back on the show. I think zoning out is the only thing keeping her relatively sane at this point.
I get it. Sometimes, I wish I could just zone out and let the world take care of itself. But that’s not happening today. Heading to my room, I prep myself for some serious decision-making. Sweats, comfy t-shirt, slipper socks—ready.
After thirty minutes of laying on my bed scrolling through social media, pretending that I’m not obsessing over the best kiss of my life, I admit I might be avoiding the issue. Huffing at myself, I make a call.
Josie and I reconnected recently. We were roommates in college and hadn’t seen each other for a couple years. Now we’re both a bit older and wiser. Pff. I roll my eyes at myself. I might not be much wiser. But I could use some advice from a friend.
“Hey, Tess.”
“Hey, Josie. You got a minute?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Remember at your book signing when you said something about ‘having good bosses’ here?”
Josie’s laughter fills my ear. “I don’t remember saying that exact thing, but I can imagine.” Josie and her partner, Ben, have been together for a while, but they met when he was her boss. “Why, what’s going on? Did you get a bad boss?”
“Um, maybe?” That’s part of the problem. I’m not sure if meeting and working for Rand is a good thing or a bad thing. He’s helped me numerous times, but he also lied to me. On the other hand, our chemistry is off the charts. But do I want to take a chance with someone when I’m already vulnerable in so many ways?
I share the situation and my concerns with Josie.
She takes a deep breath that I can hear over the line. “Tess, I have a lot of thoughts about this, but my first question is this—what do you want?”
Good question. I know what I don’t want. “I don’t want to be hurt.”
“That’s right. Taking care of yourself is the first priority,” Jose agrees instantly. “But what do you want?”
Staring at the ceiling, I let my thoughts settle. One thing becomes glaringly obvious. “He makes me feel good.”
“Even with the lying?”
“He didn’t lie. More like he didn’t tell me the whole truth.” Not so different from what I did with my mother when I first got home. When she asked, I didn’t tell her about the drama from this morning because I didn’t want to add to her worries.
“Do you think he hired you to get in your pants?”
“No, I think he really sees me as qualified, and wanted to help me out during a rough time.”
“Okay, then. Let me ask again. What do you want?”
My blood heats just thinking of the makeout session with Rand in the woods. I’ve never been so aroused in my life. It didn’t just feel good. It felt like buttercream frosting with rainbow sprinkles good.
“I want to feel good.”
“You deserve to feel good, Tess. You have so much crazy in your life right now. If your ruggedly handsome boss makes that go away for a minute, I say let him.”
Josie and I chat for a few more minutes and then hang up. She’s right. I deserve to feel good. And my entire body is ready to know just how good Rand could make me feel. Even thinking of his woodsy smell has heat gathering in my core. I just have to make sure to protect my feelings. I’m not sure I can handle any more heartbreak in my life right now.
The next day, I strut into the elevator at work wearing a deep red pencil skirt and a black button-down shirt tied at the waist. Black lace lingerie from my favorite brand, Intimates & You, completes the outfit. I feel sexy from my cherry-red lipstick down to my badass black heels.
