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Shit.I think I love him.He stares down at me, an easy, happy smile on his pink lips, completely oblivious to my confusion and panic. At least I manage to hide it this time. Because we promised to befriends. My reasons for not pursuing this seriously still stand.
Even if we are majorly blurring the lines with this whole friends with orgasms things. I mean, he is still free to go live his life. There is no commitment here.
Though the idea of him going and actually doing so makes my blood pump with rage and - shit. I can feel my blood pressure shift and my muscles begin to swell, veins rising to the surface as my berserker side rebels at the idea of Theo leaving.
I take a deep breath, trying to settle myself and pull myself back from the edge, red seeping into the edge of my vision. Theo’s smile turns, his brows furrowing.
“Roan, what’s happening?” Hearing the concern in his voice is enough for me to regain the final control of my body, and I take a shuddering breath, shaking my head to throw off the last of my rage.
“Nothing. Nothing, I promise.” I try to keep my voice gentle, but it’s shaky. Theo doesn’t look at all like he believes me, but the concern softens back to a small smile, highlighting the shadows under his eyes. They are no longer as pronounced as they were, but they are still there.
He doesn’t sleep well; I saw it last night when I crept in. He’d been thrashing about in the bed, crying out and whimpering in his sleep. When I’d slid into the bed he’d fought me for a moment, crying out not to take him. I’d been terrified I’d made a mistake; he’d obviously been trapped in a nightmare, and I’d feared I’d made it worse, but then he’d stilled when his hand hadtouched me.Safe.He'd breathed the word and then wrapped himself around me like an octopus.
“Are you sleeping okay?”
Theo pulls back at my abrupt topic change. He tries to slip his hand from mine, but I keep my fingers locked around his. His frown is back, but his eyes, they look… wary, darting all over the place. They land on the chest of drawers on the wall opposite the bed a couple of times before resting on the pillow beside my head.
“I sleep fine, Roan.”
I snort a huff of laughter at his flat tone; he really is a terrible liar. He’s not even trying.
He glares at me for laughing at him, squirming to get off me, his cock no longer proudly bobbing between us. I squeeze his hands again, pinning them against his knees to stop him from getting up.
“I’m not trying to coddle you, Theo. But you were obviously having a bad dream last night.” Fear flashes over his face before he blinks it away again, and I wish I could take it from him, whatever is haunting him. “It’s not unreasonable to be having bad dreams after everything.”
He opens his mouth to interrupt again, and I increase the pressure on our joined hands against his knees. “Ihave nightmares too. I think we all do.” Theo’s shoulders sag as the fight disappears from his body.
“You do?” His voice is small, fragile, and my heart breaks. I gently tug on him, and he slowly drops his chest to mine, his head resting above the beat of my heart. I let go of his hands to rub his back in long, firm strokes.
“Of course, Theo, that shit was fucked up. Of course it’s still affecting us.” There is a sniffle against my chest, the first tear tickling me.
“You don’t act like it.” With my hands on his ass again, I haul him up, so his face is tucked into the hollow of my neck, so I can brush a delicate kiss across his temple.
“It may not seem like it, but it’s true. None of us are unaffected. Theo, I think you need to speak to someone. You can’t just keep burying yourself in work, hoping to not feel anything. There is no rush on the house. Or healing. Oranyof it. We’ll still be here for you, even when it’s messy and hard. Even if youaren’tokay.”
There are more tears now. Followed by a choked sob and a frantic head nod. His sobs are silent, tearing at my soul with each shuddering bounce of his chest. But I just hold him while he cries until he is ready.
Eventually he pushes back, wiping the tears from his red and swollen eyes.
“I’m sorry, this isn't how I wanted this morning to go.” His watery voice threatens more tears, and he fans his eyes with his head tilted back, trying to banish them.
“Don’t you dare apologise. Look, I’ll help where I can. You have that appointment coming up right? I will take you.” Theo nods, lips rolled into his teeth like he’s scared to open his mouth and unleash more emotions. “And in the meantime, try to take it easy, okay? You don’t have to do it all at once. There is no first place in self improvement.”
I am rewarded with the eye roll I’d been gunning for. With all the sass in the world, Theo rolls off the bed, standing hand on hips, in his tight, white briefs marked with both our cum like he didn’t just have a small breakdown.
“Yeah, yeah, Boss Daddy. If we’re done with all that, I need a shower. Would you care to join?”
I’m not quite certain that the tavern’s showers are big enough for the both of us, but I am more than willing to give it a red-hot go. I almost fall out of the bed, my feet caught in one of thesheets in my rush. Theo’s ring of laughter at my expense is well worth it, the sound lighting dark, lonely parts of myself I hadn’t known existed.
“Lead the way, brat.”
Theo
I think I’m inlove with Roan.
I know, I know, what’s not to love about a kind and generous, funny man who touches my body like he worships me, always looks out for me, and has that amazing, thick, ridged cock?
I am still desperate to get that thing inside me, fascinated to know how those veins feel when he’s filling me up. I bet it is mind blowing. Everything else we’ve done has been, so why wouldn’t that be as well? Not that we’ve fucked yet. For some reason we’ve both held back. Or maybe we’ve just been too frisky and impatient and managed to always get off before we get to the main event.
