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Eventually the hysterical laugh-crying wraps up with a giant sob. Theo’s small hand reaches for his brother’s, grasping Tor’s fingers tightly, Tor’s vibrant purple skin highlighting his brother’s unnatural paleness.
“She was going to eat me. It was the final part of the ritual. First she took my gift, and my power. And then she was going to eat my heart to take the last of my spirit.”
There is a collective gasp as Theo’s whispered confession turns the warm air to ice around us, blanketing our clearing. On my right I feel Edith shudder, her arms wrapping around her knees to keep her still. Roan is motionless, a solid rock beside me as he stares pointedly at the ground in front of him. Tor strokes his brother’s hand with his thumb, attempting to offer strength as he continues.
“I was conscious the whole time. I could, uh, I could feel it. The ritual. It, uh, it hur—… I wasaware. You guys got there just as she was preparing to take it, to, uh, to cu-cut it out of me. My heart. I could hear you fighting to save me, but I couldn’t move.”
Across from us, I can hear Seff’s whispered curse as he wipes away a tear with the back of his hand, blinking rapidly to keep himself together.
“But it’s gone. My gift. My knowledge. It’s all gone. I can feel where it was, almost? Inside me. I never noticed it was there before. But now that it’s gone, I can feel the empty space where it was. My power.”
There is a sniffle, I think from Edith.
“So yeah, even if, uh, even if I wanted to go back, back to the university, to our parents’ house, I can’t. There is nothing there for me now. It’s gone. It’s all gone.”
Theo’s face screws up in pain, tears pouring unchecked from his eyes. He desperately tries to cover them with his hands, forgetting that he is attached to Tor still; the broken sob in his throat as he tries to shake free spurs Tor into action, scrambling to pull his brother to him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. He pats Theo’s hair, shushing him gently while we all look on in horror, unsure how to help or what to say.Theo was conscious the whole time?
My eyes meet Edith’s and I’m sure her haunted expression is reflected on my face. I snap my mouth shut, squeezing my eyes shut. I may not have magic or power of my own, but I can’t imagine what he went through with the ritual. Losing something sovitalto you, to your essence. My heart aches for Theo. I’ve never heard of a fae losing their gift. Or their powers. It just doesn’t happen.
“You don’t know that, Theo, you don’t know that it’s gone forever. It might—” Tor tries to reassure his brother, but another gut-wrenching cry clues him in that he is on the wrong track. “Fuck that. I’m sorry, you don’t have to go back at all. You can stay here until you’re ready. We’ll figure it out together. I promise. I’m so, so sorry. I love you, Theo. We will take care of you.”
“Of course we will!” Edith, unable to restrain herself any longer, throws herself at Theo and Tor.
My bark of laughter at their loudooftsas she lands on them surprises me, but then, so do the tears dampening my beard. I sniff them back and reach across Tor to ruffle Theo’s head. “They’re right, Theo, we’re here for you. Always.”
There is a murmur from where he is buried beneath Tor and Edith, but I assume it is a thank you. Seff joins in, unable to resist any opportunity for physical affection, rubbing at Theo’s back, offering his own words of support.
I bump Roan’s shoulder where he sits ramrod still beside me, still staring at the grass in front him, like it holds the secrets of the universe. It shakes him out of whatever thoughts hold him hostage, and he shakes his head, his hair long and loose around his horns.
“Yeah, Theo, they are right. Whatever you need.” His voice is deeper than usual, rough with emotion. He stands, brushing the grass from his tan pants, throwing a thumb over his shoulder to the abandoned dinner. “I’m just going to get dinner started. You guys relax.”
Tor pulls away from his brother just long enough to throw him a thankful smile, before burrowing back into soothing Theo. Torn between wanting to join them, but knowing my friend needs help, even if he doesn’t want it, I lean forward to give Tor a quick kiss to the back of the head and scramble to my feet to follow Roan.
Roan has set up the trivet and is cutting the meat into chunks into the pot, along with some root vegetables he’d found on his hunt by the time I get to him. His back muscles tense noticeably as I kneel down on the grass next to him, but he studiously avoids looking at me.
“So. Theo. He’s been through a lot, huh?”
Roan keeps his gaze on the chopping board he’d placed on a large flat stone to steady it, continuing to chop and ignore me except for a grunt. I continue anyway. Roan has been there for me through a lot of the hard times growing up. I don’t want to leave him hanging when he is obviously going through something.
“Must’ve been tough, walking in there. Seeing him like that?”
The tip of his horn waves dangerously close to my face as he turns to glower at me, the chop of the knife through the meat slightly more aggressive than necessary. Still, I hold his glare, keeping my face as passive as I can. After a few beats, Roan finally relents. His eyes slam shut as his body relaxes.
“The boline was at his chest when we got there. Right fucking there. She was just about to rip his heart out.And he knew?I can’t… Whenever I close my eyes, I see him there, pale and limp, like he was alreadydead.” There is a feral growl in his already naturally deep voice. “I just… It did something to me. I have never felt anything like that before. Therage. The need to take him and protect him… It made me stupid. The bitch almost got me. I thundered in like a dickhead to get to him, and she blasted me with her fucking magic. I only got him out because of Edith and Seff. Without them, he would havedied. But he was so small. Sovulnerable. I thought we were too late already. The whole time I carried him out,I thought he was going to die in my arms. And it… it set something off in me. It… just. Yeah. Anyway.”
Well, fucking fuck. Roan opens his eyes, and looks at me, shaking his head, his long waves shaking around his shoulders as he rolls them, like he can physically shake off his distress.
“It’s fine, it's just shock. I’ll get over it. He’s fine. He’ll be fine.” Roan goes back to diligently chopping everything to focused perfection, dumping them in the pot and adding the seasonings he’d managed to rummage up.
I watch with a careful eye, not entirely believing that is thewholeof it, but it’s a start. This whole thing has fucked us all up. Edith is ignoring it by mothering us and Seff is obviously trying to bury his trauma in that golden sunshine personality of his to not have to deal. We all have some work to do. But I slap his back, giving it a comforting rub.
“We’re here for you too, you know. We, ah, we all went through some shit the past few days.”
Roan nods silently, intently stirring the pot now over the fire like it is life or death.
“And I appreciate it. You didn’t have to come and help us. Leave the Tavern and all of that. You took a giant fucking risk. It means a lot. That you did it. For us. Forme. Thank you.” There is a hard lump in my throat as I choke out the last of my words.
Roan, understanding in his eyes, glances over his shoulder, giving me a half smile and a tight nod. “Any time, Caelan. Any time."
