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Bonded mates are rare. Like, super rare. As in, legendary and fabled and largely thought to just be myths kind of rare. The lastofficiallyrecorded incidence of a bonded mate pairing hadn’t been for hundreds of years. If not longer.
I take a stuttering breath, reaching out to grab onto Caelan’s arm. His bicep is hard as a rock beneath my fingers. Edith, for her part, is too busy fluffing at her layers and attempting to cram her hair into a clip to notice our twin stunned expressions.
Caelan and I haven’t even talked about what this is between us and where it is going, let alone something as serious as becomingmates. The idea of us beingbonded mates? It’s so outlandishly improbable it is laughable.
Even though I don’t particularly feel like laughing right now.
Mates and matehood are common amongst beings, those who partner for life, anyway. It’s kind of just like human marriage, only harder to break because of the magical elements involved. But bonded mates are something else entirely.
According to the stories we’re all told, they are magically bound pairs, sealed by the power that had once belonged to the whole land and not just confined to the boundaries of the Whisper Woods. Once formed, the bonds were said to be unbreakable, the two spirits entwined as one. One mate’s power became the other’s. Their lives were only for each other. Some stories said that such pairs belonged to the Woods themselves.
They weredestined, preordained. And thoroughly unheard of in modern times, to the point they were considered something of a legend. My mouth flaps open and closed, not unlike a stunned fish, because what in the world am I meant to say to this?
Edith finishes fussing with her clothes and takes in Caelan and my matching stunned stupid expressions.
“Right, I feel like I have said something wrong here? Did you not know that you are bonded mates? It’s not like it’s an accident.” She frowns at us like the idiots we are, her blonde brows furrowed.
“Um, Edith, bonded mates aren’t actually a thing. It’s a legend. A story told to children about the Before Times. It’s not real. Not anymore anyway.” There is a part of me that is a little hurt by Caelan’s outright denial. I mean,logicallyI know he’s correct, but his outright rejection of the idea feels kind of like a rejection ofmepersonally.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive; okay, I am very definitely being oversensitive, but I’m having a rough week. Would it be that bad to be magically bound to me for eternity? I’m a catch.
Edith just rolls her eyes. “You’re an idiot.” She pokes one finger hard into Caelan’s chest before turning back to me, face scrunched in disbelief. “Do you really not feel it? Have you lostthat muchtouch with your fae instincts? How could you honestly enter into this without knowing?”
Oh, no.Shit. Is this something I’ve done? Did I somehow accidentally cast some stupid spell with all my pining over Caelan? I try to scan myself for whatshe sees that I am missing, digging beneath the ever-present lurking anxiety for my brother, the weight of the Woods’ magic.
Usually it feels freeing, but the weight of the Woods is feeling oppressive on top of my increasing anxiety. Caelan ignores my tense introspection, throwing his hands up in frustration. I can feel it radiating from him like heat, except… it’s coming from the core of me?
“What are you talking about, Edith? We have places to be.”
I can tell Edith takes offence. Her spine is straighter, her relaxed, casual air gone, her true power and strength making her a little taller. She is looking a little too hard at Caelan, making his frustration curdle with the anxiety in my stomach. Like I didn’t have enough emotions to deal with.
“Are you telling me that you two didn’t fuck like bunnies under a full moon in a magical forest last night, my dear, sweet idiot?” She looks pointedly at the hickeys decoratingbothof our skins.
Almost like her words are a beacon, shining the light on our blissful ignorance. Clarity hits with sledgehammer-like precision.
Shit. There it is. Found it.
Like a golden thread, flowing from me to Caelan, connected. Bound. Fuck.
“Are you telling me that under the light of that same bloody moon that you two didn’t declare each other your own? Maybe swap a little blood? Did you notfeelthe ties binding you?”
Caelan’s face remains intentionally impassive, like a mask, but I can feel the blood leaving my face.
In my defence, I just thought it was really good sex. Like, really, really good. All of the beings and creatures of the Woods were boning last night, and I bet they didn’t wake up magically tied to another being for all eternity. It’s not like Edith was at thefaun orgyfor a game of cards and a cup of tea.
And yeah, while I may have been caught up in thoughts of forever, because let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to spend forever with him? It didn’t mean that Caelan had too. But, then again, there had been a little something else in the air last night. Something that had wrapped around us as I had fucked him into the dirt.
Well, damn.I thought it was just a really good orgasm.
A thousand and one emotions play over Caelan’s face. I watch him intently,feelingthe confusing whirlwind of emotions inundating the connection between us. There is happiness there, butso much more. Fear, insecurity, doubt. His emotions roll through me like lumps through my spirit, the awkward shuffling of both of our existences in my being, jostling for space.
How I didn’t notice this earlier I have no idea, but now that Iamaware, it’s like a tap I can’t seem to turn off. Worry plagues me again that this is somehowmyfault. That it was my magic, my desperatewantingof Caelan, that somehow called this all into being.
“How could you do this?” The angry, almost horrified words, echoing my own fears with mirror-like clarity, that this is all my fault, cut like a knife.
Tears burn at my eyes for the second time today, rising against my furious blinks, attempting to hold them back. Again, the logical part of my brain screams for reason, common sense, but ithurtsthat he thinks, even for a moment, that I would do something so grotesque or manipulative as to mate him without his knowledge or consent.
“Excuse me? How couldIdo this? Are you kidding?” Defensiveness, even through my own overwhelming guilt, rears its ugly head. My arms cross against my chest, trying to wrap myself into something small to keep the torrent of emotions from exploding out of me.
