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I tighten my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as I rest my other hand on her stomach. She covers my hand with hers as she looks up at me, the expression on her face telling me to keep talking. And so I do, telling her everything that happened at the meeting. All the things the coach said and all the shit he…I don’t know, threatened me with, I guess. I leave nothing out.
“So yeah, that’s about it,” I say, blowing out a breath.
Lis’ gaze drops to her hand, which is still covering mine, as I imagine she processes everything I’ve just told her. None of it is good really. One option leaving us significantly poorer and the other forcing us apart, and that’s without even considering the possible damage to my knee.
I pull her closer, pressing my lips to her temple. “Talk to me, Lis. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She blows out a breath, looking up at me. “Your coach said you were happy about going back.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, confused.
She lifts her hand, cupping my cheek as she says, “He came to see me. I guess after your meeting. Told me a slightly different version of?—”
“He what?” I ask, cutting her off. “He came to see you? Told you about our meeting and what my options were?”
“Yeah.”
“And he said I was happy about going back?” I ask.
“Uh huh,” she says with a nod.
“The fucking asshole,” I groan, shoving a hand through my hair, unable to believe he would say that, would have the gall to come and speak to Lis about everything. “Okay, so just to clarify, I amnothappy about it at all. I told him I wanted to quit. That I was done, staying here and I had no problem with my decision. Whatever he’s told?—”
“Nick, I believe you,” she now says, her thumb brushing against the stubble of my jaw. “I kind of got the feeling he was, well, saying stuff to try and get me to convince you to go back.”
“I don’t want to go back,” I say quickly, needing her to believe me. “I’m staying here. With you.”
Lis smiles sadly, her hand dropping to mine again as she threads our fingers together. “Nick, you can’t do that,” she says, her words barely audible.
“Yeah, I can.”
She shakes her head. “It will cost a fortune if you stay, you know that.”
“I don’t care about the money, Lis.”
She gives me a small smile. “I know you don’t, but we…well it’s not just the two of us anymore, is it.”
I move my hand back to her stomach, hating all of this. “No,” I whisper. “Which is all the more reason why I want to stay.”
“Nick,” she murmurs. “We can make this work. We’ll find a way to make it work.”
“I don’t want to be without you, Lis,” I say, pulling her in as I drop my face into the crook of her neck. “I can’t. I can’t fucking lose you again.”
She turns until her lips find mine, brushing a soft kiss against them that I deepen. “You won’t lose me,” she whispers, her forehead resting against mine. “We’re in this together okay, it’s different this time, I promise.”
“Elissa,” I groan. “I can’t, I can’t fucking go. I don’t even know if my knee is really okay.”
She lets out a breath, her hand on my cheek again. “I know, that’s the part that worries me the most. Did he say when you need to leave?”
I nod, my eyes closing. “He wants me back after New Year’s.”
She pushes on my jaw, angling my face up so our gazes meet. With a soft smile, she brushes a thumb across my cheek. “I love you, Nick.”
“I love you,” I whisper. “So fucking much.”
Her thumb moves to my mouth, pressing against my lips. “You aren’t going to lose me, okay. I promise. But we might not have a choice about you going back.”
“I can’t,” I whisper. “I’m not going.”
