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For once in my life, my motives were pure, and look where it got me.
In a dirty cell, my magic suppressed and buried by the slag that's built into the very walls of this dank and empty prison, staring at the man who declared ownership of me and attempted to force my hand into his own.
And he's my fucking high priest.
I'm not sure how I know, but it is instinctual when I look at Zeph. Like a part of me that I didn't know was missing finally came back to me.
"Hello, high priest," I sneer, glaring at his hand that made its way to the top of mine as I grip the bars of my cell. I don't care about the way my hands on the bars feel like bugs are under my skin. I want to be as close to him as possible, to look him in the eye when he realizes who I am to him, and I reject his draw.
But he shocks me by dropping to his knees.
The silence is uncomfortable, punctuated only by sobs from the red-haired man at my feet.
I've never been one for outward displays of emotion, and this pushes my limit. If there weren't these bars between us, I have no doubt I'd be shoving him away from me with my boot.
"Viola, I am so sorry," he begins, sitting up and back on his heels. His beard is well-kept, his hair groomed, and he's dressed smartly in dark slacks and a button-up shirt. Though there has been no physical change in him, the entire air around him is different.
He looks at me with those green eyes, so similar to Mace's, shimmering with repressed tears. What reason would he have to cry?
He's the one who has been living it up with Himureal, doing the God's bidding - if Himureal is to be believed. He's the one who attacked Tulip and forced all of us to restrain him physically.
What could he possibly be crying over?
"I don't know how you ended up here, Viola, but I will do whatever I have to to get you out of here. Himureal has awful things planned -"
I cut him off. "What areyoudoing here, Zeph? Why are you the one that is bringing me my rations?" I know why, of course. Himureal told me as much during some of our clandestine meetings. But I want to hear it from Zeph's mouth. I want him to be the one who tells me just how much he screwed me over.
Just how much he betrayed his true position as my high priest.
"After you left, my shame and anger twisted me," he says, pushing the food through the small latch in the cell. "Eat, please."
I sit on the slightly damp ground across from him, pick at the food, and sip the water he's provided me while he talks. It's a loaded plate, with a large sandwich and some fruit. I chew the fruit slowly, my stomach still sour and churning from whatever it was that Himureal drugged me with.
He fucking drugged me.
I trusted him.
In spite of everything, I believed better of him. I thought he could be better.
For a minute there, I was sure he was something more than the stories I was told as a child. I believed his lies about being the aggrieved party.
Part of me still believes them. But that part of me needs to be cleaved from me because look where it got me.
It's abundantly clear that the Himureal, who was looking to let the humans live in harmony with the Gods, is gone.
Zeph's words jolt me out of my mind as they echo around the empty space. "Himureal proposed a deal. That I work as his high priest, and he helps me get you here, in the city."
The snarl that rises in my chest feels feral, and I feel my magic try to spark in my veins but die pitifully. "You bartered me? Like a fucking object?"
Zeph has the good sense to flinch away from me and look ashamed. "It didn't feel that way at the time, you have to understand," he pleads. The sad part is that I can feel how honest he's being with me through whatever this draw is that we share. How desperate he was. "I felt empty, set adrift. It was like I had no control over who I was or what I did. Every piece of me screamed that I had to have you, had to be with you. I would've died to make that happen if I could have."
His words swirl through me, laying on top of a story Himureal told me just hours ago.
"The draw," I say quietly.
He looks at me, eyebrow raised, and shakes his head. "I didn't have the draw. I may have been his high priest, but he said I didn't need the draw to be it."
A dark chuckle slips from my mouth unbidden, and I shake my head. It evolves into a hysterical laugh, tears seeping from my eyes as I lose a piece of my grip on sanity at the sheer implausibility of the situation. Zeph stares at me, eyes wide with shock and a small amount of worry about my mental state. Once I get myself under control, I wipe my eyes and look him directly in his eyes, a part of me eager to see the recognition when it hits him. "Not to Himureal. To me. When I called you high priest, I was calling you my own, Zeph."
