Page 21 of Love Under Snowfall

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Page 21 of Love Under Snowfall

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You were not the adult.”

“I was old enough to know better.”

“Look, I wasn’t there, and I’m not here to discuss the past. I want to talk about the future, the very near future to be precise.”

I shake my head so furiously that blond strands of hair fly in and around my face. “I can’t. Not with Niklas there.” Facing him once was enough. I’m not strong enough to do it again, and I never will be.

He wants to hurt me in any way he can, and what better way than to fuck me with his best friend and brother. If I wasn’t so fucking scared, I would let him.

6

Niklas has talked about Lillian and her mother many times, but looking at her now, none of it quite fits. I just can’t connect this person to the one Nik has been telling me about. Of course I always had my doubts anyway. According to our dad, Lilly didn’t know about her mother’s scam. It has been the subject of many fights between Nik and Dad. Our father has always been protective of Lillian.

I want to ask her more questions, but I don’t want to scare her off. First, I need her to agree to come to Club Sin one more time.

“How about we just meet to hang out? No pressure to have sex.” Nik will probably lose his shit for the time being, but it’s his own fault for letting his emotions get out of control last night. He shouldn’t have treated her the way he did. For both of their sakes. She might never forgive him, and he will most likely never forgive himself.

Lilly pulls her lip between her teeth, nibbling on it while thinking. I remain still and patient on the outside.

“We’ll still pay you triple the normal arrangement. That will be enough to pay your rent for a while or help you move into a new place if that’s what you want.”

“It’s not about the money. As a matter of fact, it’s part of the reason I don’t want to do it anymore. I was prepared to take money from a random guy in exchange for… you know.” Her cheeks redden adorably. “I can’t take money from Niklas or you.”

“Luke can write the check if that makes you feel better.”

“You know what I mean.” She slumps back into the cushion and pulls her knees up to hug them. “Why do you want me to come so bad? I’m sure other women at Club Sin would be happy to meet you.”

“We want you.”

“Really, I would do it if I thought I could, but I’m…” She shakes her head and squeezes her lips together, signaling she’s done talking.

“What would make you more comfortable? Tell me how we can make it work,” I press, sounding a bit like a car salesman.

She pulls a pillow into her lap and starts fidgeting with the corners. “I really have to think about it.” She stares out the window as if she’s letting a bunch of scenarios run through her head, testing out each one to see how she feels. I sit patiently, giving her the time she so desperately needs.

“Would you be open to meeting me alone first? I mean, you and Luke. Then maybe Niklas can join a little later. Once I’m more… settled.” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth again, chewing on it nervously as she waits for my answer.

Nik will fucking hate this, but it might be the only way to make it happen at all. “I think we can make that work. I’ll reach out to Club Sin and arrange everything. They should be reaching out to you with a new contract.”

“Okay.” She nods, still not looking too sure about any of this. Right now, I’m sensing there is only a 50 percent chance she’ll go through with it.

“Your apartment is nice. The area isn’t, and the building is shit, but you did a great job with your apartment.”

“Thanks.” Lillian accepts my compliment as if it was her first one ever, making me wonder why she’s not used to compliments.

“I have to go, but I really hope I see you tonight.” I rack my brain for something else to say. Something that would reassure her. “It won’t be as intense as last night.”

She forces a smile and sucks in a deep breath. We both get up, and she walks me to the door.

“I’ll see you tonight,” she murmurs before closing the door behind me. I’m still not convinced she means it, though. It's more likely she’s saying that to get rid of me.

I guess we’ll find out in a few hours.

Taking two steps at a time, I quickly go downstairs and around the corner where Nik waits for me. I open the door and get into the passenger's seat. Before I get settled, Nik bombards me with questions.

“What did she say? Is she coming tonight? Did she take the money?”


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