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Well, that put me in my place. She thought I was such a hound dog that the only reason I wouldn't fuck for a while would be because I broke my dick. I wanted to tell her it was because I didn't want to fuck anyone else since I did her, but that was a bridge too far for me. I couldn't bethatvulnerable with her. I'd already revealed more about myself than I normally did.
"I've been busy." My tone was sharper than I intended it to be. "To answer your question, I'm not going to insult our marriage, for however long…I mean, whatever it is."
"However long? You think this is temporary?"
I saw hurt flash in her eyes, and I hated that.
"No. I…fucking hell, Elsa, I don't know what I'm doing or saying. Can't you see I'm lost here?"
"Lost?"
I nodded. "You know what would help?"
She licked her lips. "What would help?"
"If I could fuck you, it would really help clear my mind."
She looked at me with shock, and I cursed my lack of filter. Yeah, she was going to run back to her apartment in the Marais because of my total lack of finesse.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that and—"
"Okay." She stood up.
"What?"
"Okay. Let's go and consummate this marriage."
Chapter 5
Elsa
He gawked at me as if I had asked him to model frilly pink aprons during high tea at La Galerie.
I held out my hand to him, my heart hammering in my chest.
I wasthatgirl, the one who got with child after having sex for the first time. I'd made out before Duncan but never had sex, which wasn't unusual for nice Catholic girls like me. But that wasn't why I'd been a virgin. Mamman had drilled it into me that I should give myself to someone who'd respect me—and treat me like a queen. My mother was no prude. I knew she had men in her life after she and my father split up, not that I ever saw her with anyone, but I knew she wasn't sitting celibate.
When I decided to cold-bloodedly give up my virginity, I'd never thought I'd end up marryingthatman. Even pregnant, I did not want to get married.
"This isn't the nineteenth century, Papa. I can be a single mother," I protested when he informed me that he knew who the father of my child was and that I was expected to marry him.
"My daughter is not going to have a bastard," Papa screamed.
"Don't you dare call my child that!" I crossed my arms angrily. "I'm not marrying a stranger."
"Then you shouldn't have had sex with one," Papa retorted. "Duncan Archer has agreed to marry you."
"Well, good for Duncan Archer. I'm not marrying him."
"Then I'll have to kill him."
"What? You're unhinged, Papa."
"Elsa, I can't have my daughter have a child out of wedlock. What will people say? What does it say about me if some asshole can knock my daughter up without any consequence?"
We'd gone round and round, and I had every intention ofnotmarrying Duncan until I met him again. He was there under duress; that much was obvious.
"Why would you want to marry me?" I asked him.
