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Polina is waiting on the steps when I arrive home. Her face is a perfectly arranged mask, but I know her well enough to see the simmering anger just beneath.
I step out of the car. “Polina.”
She ignores the greeting and stomps into my path. “Why is Marie crying and telling me Laila and Nina are gone?”
It wasn’t an oversight keeping my plans from Polina. I knew there’d be hell to pay when she found out. “Because they are.”
“Where?”
“That’s not your concern.”
“Arsen Adamov?—”
“You are not my mother,” I snarl with a sudden, violent lash of viciousness she doesn’t deserve. “You don’t get to reprimand me like I’m a child. I did what I had to do for my family—to protect them.”
“Bullshit!” she cries out. “You did what you did to protectyourself.”
I brush past her. “Believe what you want?—”
“One setback, one scare, and you undo all the progress you’ve made!” she screeches at my back. “That girl trusted you. She loves you!”
“Then that’s her fucking mistake, isn’t it?” I roar, whirling around. “She should have known better!”
Polina shakes her head at me, a disgusted sneer twisting her lips. “This is not how you do things, Arsen. This is not how you protect your family. Laila and Nina need you.”
“Being associated with me is what got a ten-million dollar bounty on their heads. Or did you miss that part?”
“I miss nothing. She’s safer with you than anywhere else. And I think she’d be the first to tell you that.”
“What do either of you know about it? Neither one of you know what it’s like to bepakhan. You don’t know the kind of decisions I have to make.”
Her sneer deepens. The moonlight sharpens her teeth into fangs—or maybe that’s just my imagination. Maybe I want someone else to look like a monster, even if it’s just for a moment, so I can pretend like I’m not the only beast out on the prowl tonight.
“You sound like your grandfather. Maybe you’re more like him than I thought.”
I don’t even flinch. At this point, I’m used to taking hits. It seems every woman in my life is armed and dangerous. “Maybe I am.”
“Except for one little thing: you love her.”
Goddammit, I need some quiet.
Some peace.
I’m getting neither.
“I don’t love her,” I lie. “I just needed to make her believe I did. It was the easiest way of controlling her.”
“Arsen—”
“She was nothing more than a warm place to stick my?—”
I don’t see her hand coming before her palm slaps across my face. For an old lady, she can pack a punch.
I welcome the sting.
The slap rings out, then dies. The night is so fucking still on all sides of us. I shake my head and drag my eyes back up to hers. “Feel better?”
Polina’s face is red with anger. I’ve never seen her so out of control. “Your mother would be ashamed of you.”
