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He nods once and walks out of the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.
My heart is thundering in my chest, and I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.It’s Dominik. Dominik is hurt. That’s what’s wrong.
While I shower and change, I tell myself that’s what this is—but when I walk back into our bathroom and find Arsen bent over a large duffel bag, I can’t lie to myself anymore.
“What are you doing?”
He doesn’t answer as he grabs Bugsy from Nina’s crib and tucks it in the duffel along with an unorganized wad of clothes.
“We’re just going to the hospital,” I say weakly. “You’ve packed enough for a month.”
“It’s not going to be a month.” He zips the duffel.
“Okay.” The panic is rising in my throat, and I have to speak around it. “Then we don’t need to take fifteen changes of clothes to the hospital. We are going to the hospital, aren’t we?”
He slings the bag over his shoulder. “Get Nina.”
“I don’t understand. What’s?—”
“I told you to get Nina.” He doesn’t raise his voice, but his words might as well be weapons the way they slice into my skin.
Trembling, I walk to the crib and scoop our sleeping baby into my arms. Her weight settles against my chest, along with another heavy realization. “We’re not going to the hospital, are we?”
At least he’s man enough to meet my eyes as he says, “No.”
I fight back nausea. “Where are we going?”
“Wearen’t going anywhere. You and Nina are.”
“Why? For how long?” The more the silence stretches, the thicker my panic becomes. “Arsen?”
“For as long as it takes.”
“To do what?” I cry. “Is this about Charles? Or Dominik? What happened to him? Why is he in the hospital?”
“Because of me.” His jaw is granite. “And you have to go before you get hurt, too.”
He blurs behind my tears. I blink them away furiously, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “But what about us? Our family? I’m your wife.”
“A mistake I should never have made.”
I stumble back like he struck me. He might as well have. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” He answers with no hesitation. “I let myself get distracted with you—with playing house and being your husband—and I put everyone at risk.”
I shake my head. “Don’t say that. You didn’t?—”
“Dominik is dying. He could be fucking dead now, for all I know!”
“Don’t put that on me!” I shriek, causing Nina to stir in my arms. “Don’t you dare put that on me!”
“I’m not.” He runs a hand over the back of his neck, his shoulders tense. “This is on no one but me. Now, let’s go.”
“Arsen!”
But he doesn’t stop. He walks through the door and disappears.
Nina has settled again, and I look down at my sleeping baby, wondering how we got here. How we can get out.
