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“I’m not the one who gave birth,” she argues, though I notice she’s already shuffling towards the door.
“No, you did that twenty-four years ago.” I kiss her cheek as she passes. “Now, it’s my turn. Your granddaughter will still be here after you take a nap.”
She runs a gentle hand over Nina’s arm. “But if you need anything?—”
“I’ll march down to your room in all of my adult diaper glory and wake you up myself,” I assure her.
Polina tucks a stack of folded onesies into a shelf before wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of your girls while you’re gone, Marie.”
With a tired smile, Mom blows me one final kiss on her way out.
The moment she’s gone, my smile sags under the weight of the last two days.
Polina holds her hands towards Nina. “Do you mind?”
All at once, I realize how weak my arms are. How exhausted I am, inside and out.
“Of course not.” I place my daughter in her arms and Polina coos softly, murmuring to Nina in Russian.
“She is gorgeous. The most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I mean, those eyes! I think they’re gonna be green just like her papa’s.” I start fussing with the sheets of Nina’s crib to avoid Polina seeing the bitter look on my face. “She looks so much like Arsen when he was born.”
Despite myself, my attention is caught. “You were around when Arsen was born?”
Polina walks over to the rocking chair and sits down. “I was. Nina—the elder Nina, that is—and I were good friends. We went to school together.”
I walk to the window seat and lower myself gently onto the bench. “I had no idea. Arsen never said.”
I have a feeling there’s still a lot Arsen hasn’t told me. It’s tough to do when he isn’t around.
“It was a miracle we met at all. The only reason I was in the same prep school as Nina is because I got a very generous scholarship—something the other students liked to make me aware of as often as possible. But never Nina. She was the wealthiest kid in that school, but she was kind and generous. Fiery, but a good friend.”
“How did you end up working here?”
Polina’s eyes turn misty. “My father got sick, and I had to drop out in my senior year to look after him.”
“Oh, Polina…”
“Don’t you dare pity me. You know a thing or two about that kind of responsibility yourself.” She gives me a sad smile. “But Nina thought I was throwing away my opportunity. She couldn’t understand my choice, and we fell out of touch. A few years later, though, Nina and I reconnected. I was still struggling, and she wanted to help, but I wasn’t raised to accept handouts.”
“So she gave you a job.” It sounds exactly like something Arsen would do.
She nods. “I started as a maid. Not that Nina treated me like one. It used to drive her parents insane that she was friends with ‘the help.’”
“Wasn’t that hard for you? That Nina was technically your boss?”
“It could’ve been awful, but Nina was amazing. We each had our roles in this house, and she always treated me with respect.”
“I wish I could’ve met her.”
“You would have loved her. She was a great woman. And a wonderful mother. She was so hands-on with Arsen. Usually, women like her have night nurses, maids, nannies—the works. An army of help. Nina just had me.” Polina traces a finger over the apple of baby Nina’s cheek. “I held him as a child, and now, I’m holding his child. I wasn’t sure it would ever happen, but I’m glad it finally has.”
If only Arsen was here to see it.
“You really love him, don’t you?”
Polina smiles fondly. “Arsen is the closest thing I have to a son.”
The knot in my chest tightens. “Have you seen him at all these last few days?”
