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For some inexplicable reason, my entire body erupts with goosebumps. “Does she know you feel that way about her?”
“She is very much aware. And I assure you, the feeling is very much mutual.”
I frown and chew at the inside of my cheek. It’s going to be bloody ribbons by the time I make it out of here.IfI make it out of here, that is.
I clear my throat. “She might be okay with you sleeping with someone else, but does that mean she’s going to be okay with raising a child that’s not her own?”
Arsen’s laughter is deep and cutting. “In the animal world, Natascha would be one of those mothers who ate their young. She doesn’t have a single maternal bone in her body.”
“Okay. So, you’re not— You don’t—” I take a deep breath. “If your wife doesn’t want to be involved, are you expecting me to be the mother?”
The words get caught in my throat. Seth is the only serious relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve barely thought about marriage, let alone children.
No time like the present to contemplate life’s biggest questions, I guess. To my surprise, it’s easy to answer.
What kind of mother do I want to be? I love my mom. On rainy Sundays, she used to let me climb in bed with her and we’d watch age-inappropriate movies all day. On payday, she’d take me out for ice cream.
But that was only when she wasn’t working. My father sent a few paltry child support payments at the beginning, but those dried up fast. She spent most of her time trying to earn enough to keep up the bills. That left me at friends’ houses or, when I was old enough, by myself.
I want tobethere for my kids.
“You would be the egg donor,” he corrects, cutting through my thoughts. “As the surrogate, once the baby is in my arms, your job will be done.”
“I see.” Something churns in the pit of my stomach. I lift my eyes to his. “You know, it’s insane, what you’re asking me to do. Aren’t you going to ask me why I came back?”
He shakes his head. “No need. You came back for your mother.”
Tears spring to the corners of my eyes without any warning. I look down, hoping he won’t notice.
I hear only the scrape of his chair before I’m presented with a tissue. “If you have any doubts, Ms. Barnes, you should leave now.”
I almost laugh. I have a whole head teeming with doubts. But those doubts don’t erase the reason I’m here.
I snatch the tissue out of his hand. “My mother raised me alone. She worked two jobs to keep us afloat and she never once complained. And how did the universe repay her?” My jawclenches. “It gave her cancer. The least I can do now is make sure the remainder of her life is as comfortable as possible.”
I lift my gaze to his, no longer ashamed of the tears hanging from my eyelashes.
They’re proof of love.
“Draw up the contract. I’m ready.”
5
LAILA
“That was fast.” I stare down at the manila envelope that Arsen just handed me. It has my name scrawled in black ink in the corner.
LAILA BARNES.
I don’t know why, but seeing it there, stark and permanent, makes this all feel a hundred times more real.
“I had it drawn up last week after our meeting,” Arsen explains. “I told you: I knew you’d come back.”
I have no idea how he was so sure whenIwasn’t sure at all. Even as I got dressed and made my way downtown this morning—even as I was lifting my hand to knock on his office door—I wasn’t sure I’d really go through with it.
But he knew.
Somehow, he knew.
