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His eyes gleam. “That’s not fair.”
“Don’t talk to me about ‘fair,’ Arsen. Nothing about this situation is ‘fair.’”
It’s not fair that he looks this good in the middle of a fight.
It’s not fair that I still want him so much.
It’s not fair that I can’t stop, no matter how hard I try.
He edges around his desk, stepping into my space. I have to tip my head back to meet his green eyes. “You were supposed to be there.”
He looms even closer until he blots out everything else in the room. “I know, but I had to rearrange my time so I can handle my shit at work and still be there for her. I’m trying to deal with the situation at Pobeda as fast as possible so I can rush back home and salvage my morning.”
“Yeah, see, what I’m hearing is that work comes first. Pobeda comes first. Your duties aspakhancome first. And when youhave the time—when it’s convenient for you—then you’ll throw your family a bone and spend some time with them.”
All at once, I have the feeling he can see straight through me. “What is this really about, Laila? Are you pissed that I’m letting Polina babysit for me? Or is this about you?”
I drop my arms. “Don’t turn this around on me.”
“I’m simply asking you a question. I’ve been consistent these last few weeks—months, really. I’ve been present. I’ve put Nina to bed at night. I’ve handled her late night feedings. I’ve spent more time with her than you have.”
“Only because of my training sessions at the academy!”
“Does that mean you’re prioritizing your yoga certification over Nina?”
I rear back as though he’s just slapped me. Silly as it seems now, I didn’t expect him to fight back. I’ve been the one doing all the fighting recently. I expected to come in here, burn off some energy, and then be on my way.
“Of course not! Nina is everything to me.”
“So why do you assume it’s different for me?” Arsen demands.
I don’t. Not anymore.
Arsen left. He abandoned us. He sent us away.
But he’s trying to make it right. Mom told me he would make it right if I let him, and this is what she meant. I just didn’t expect it to be so hard.
“Blyat’,” he mutters, running a hand over his clean-shaven jaw. “You’re still angry with me.”
“I’m not…” A surprise tear slips down my cheek, and I brush it away hastily and turn away from him. “It would be easier if I was just angry. It would be so much easier if I could hate you for what you did, but…”
Suddenly, his hand is on my cheek. He tilts my face to his, and I’m helpless to stop him. “But what,roza?”
But I want you.
“I want you to keep your word, Arsen. I want to believe all of your promises, and I want to trust you.”
He bends to meet me, his forehead touching mine. “Then trust me.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. “It’s not that easy.”
“It is.” His breath is warm on my face. I inhale the woodsy, minty scent of him, and God, I’ve missed him. He cradles my face. “Trust me.”
I’m trapped between his body and his desk. Even with pain flaring through my hip, I don’t want to move. I want to stay here in this moment for as long as I can.
But Arsen’s hand strokes down my side. “Your hip hurts.”
“How do you know?”
