AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He’s wrong about that. I wasn’t thinking clearly the morning of the funeral when I let him hold me in bed.
I wasn’t thinking when I walked off that stage, past my mother’s casket, and fell into his arms.
But I’m thinking clearly now.
“Don’t do that. I wrote that contract before my mother died, so don’t pretend like I don’t know what I want.”
“Maybe you know what you want, but you don’t know what you need,” he fires back. “I have enemies, Laila. They’ll come for you and Nina. You need my protection.”
I want to accuse him of using our daughter, but he’s right. As much as I wish he wasn’t, Nina needs to be protected. I’d die to save her, so staying married to her father is a concession I should be willing to make for her sake.
“Fine,” I agree, the terms and conditions wafting around in my head. “But I want a place of my own. Away from you.”
His lips purse. I wonder if I’ve unleashed the beast that’s been dormant these past few days.
But when he doesn’t say anything, I press on. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, Arsen. And since I can’t have a divorce?—”
“Out of the question.”
“—then I want my own life. I want my own space.” I gesture to the room. “Everything here reminds me of you. And I… I can’t deal with that right now. I can’t be around you anymore. Not without seeing what I lost. Let me have this, at least.”
He’s stiff as a statue. The only indication he’s heard me at all is the color rising up his neck.
“Are you even truly sorry?” I demand. “Do you really regret what you did?”
“Of course?—”
“Thenshowme. Give me what I want for a change. You want to drown me in security? You want me to travel everywhere in armored jeeps? Fine. I’ll agree to it all. But only if you give me something in return.”
He looks down at the floor with a sigh. “There was a time when all you wanted was to come home. To be close to me.”
“That was before I realized there was nothing left to fight for anymore.”
His chin juts out. “You really believe that?”
“I’m not holding onto something that was never real, Arsen. You never wanted to marry me. I heard you when you said that loyalty meant everything to you, and I saw it for the truth it was. That’s the only reason you think you still want to stay married to me—out of a sense of obligation.”
“You told me not to tell you what you want,” he says softly. “Extend me the same courtesy.”
I can only shake my head sadly. “I know what love is, Arsen—and this isn’t love.”
He’s quiet for a long time. Even now, there are things he could say to fix this, if only he’d man up enough to check his demons at the door. He could save me, save us—but he won’t. The future Arsen says he wants is right there at his fingertips.
He’s just too stubborn to grab it.
Finally, he walks past me towards the door. I don’t think he’s going to say a thing, but he stops at the threshold and turns back to me. “This won’t be forever,roza.”
He shuts the door before I can ask him what the hell that means.
14
ARSEN
The moment Polina appears at my door, I scowl.
“Your face is gonna freeze like that if you keep it up,” she warns.
“Great—it’ll save me from having to tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone all the time.” I pull Nina onto my lap. “Go away. My hour isn’t up yet.”
