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“We’re both sticky.” Daddy’s face scrunched up and he frowned at his sticky hand. “Daddy didn’t plan this well enough.”
He was so silly.
“Gotta have wipes, Daddy.” They fixed everything.
Sticky hands.
Sticky penises.
Sticky toys.
“Yes, Daddy is starting to realize we need lots and lots of wipes.” Huffing, Daddy kissed my cheek. “Okay, hop up. We’re going to go get unsticky in the bathroom.”
Daddy didn’t like being dirty.
He was pretending he was fine but Daddy kept wiggling his fingers.
“I’ll help.” I could get Daddy unsticky. “I’m a good cleaner.”
I was so good I even got off Daddy’s lap without letting my sticky penis touch my pants. “Don’t touch me, Daddy. You’ll make a mess. You can give me more cuddles after we’re all clean. You need wipes.”
Daddy sighed. “I need wipes in several places, so I’m going to put in an extensive online order tonight. We need lots of wipes and probably a list of things that I haven’t thought of.”
“You thought of me needing a cup with handles and you knew we didn’t need bottles. You even bought me toys.” Oh, my toys. “I need?—”
“To get cleaned up before we touch the toys.” Daddy wiggled his sticky fingers at me. “The sticky monster will get you otherwise.”
“Eww.” I squealed and made Daddy laugh. “Sticky monster.”
He did a silly laugh like he was a scary scientist in a monster movie and wiggled his fingers at me again.
So I had to be the victim and sound scared.
That made Daddy have to fight off giggles. “The monster is going to stickify you.”
“Eek, I gotta save myself because I’m alone with the monster.” Daddy thought I was funny as I ran to the bathroom with my penis flopping around. “The water will save me from the monster.”
Soap too because Daddy was messy.
Daddy was messy and laughing before I escaped too far, though. “Upstairs so you can get the monster clean and save the day. My bathroom has washcloths.”
Yes, I needed that.
“You need soap too, Daddy.” Holding my pants so I didn’t fall on the stairs, I frowned at Daddy. “Your sticky hand is drying.”
Daddy sighed and shrugged. “Wipes.”
Yep.
“I’ll help you make a list. You’ve got to have wipes to take care of me. And snacks and stuffed animals and a blanket and maybe diapers.” I shrugged. “I can go potty like a big boy but some Daddies like diapers. Some don’t. That’s okay. Dally says peeing should never be a deal-breaker. He’s smart.”
Daddy almost fell down the stairs but he saved himself with his not-sticky hand. “He’s very smart. Yes. Peeing should never be a deal-breaker.”
Daddy was smart too.
“Can I tell Dally that we’re going to have a second date? He was worried.” I wasn’t but Dally had been worried.
“His tummy.” Daddy nodded as he finally made it upstairs and didn’t fall or die. “Yes, we don’t want him to have a funny tummy, so yes, you can tell Dally that I’m your Daddy and we’re going to have dates.”
