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I shove my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie and shrug. My eyes leave his as I find the clock on the wall, noting the time. “I have to go. It’s time for us to leave.”
Nolan glances over his shoulder at the clock and nods. “Very well. At least we know what we need to work on now.”
My brow furrows. “Huh?”
Nolan’s lips curl upward as he sits on the top of his desk. “You didn’t think that you were getting rid of me that easily, did you? We’ll still continue with our therapy throughout the week while you’re in the halfway house.”
Fuck.
I cut my eyes at him one last time, feeling the frustration in my veins as I storm out of the room. I stride back down the hallway to my room, finding Ander waiting for me to leave. His enthusiasm irritates me even more but I brush it off.
At this point, it doesn’t look like life can get any worse than this now
TWENTY-FIVE
KILLIAN
Three months later
Lying on my bed, I roll over onto my side and stare at the wall. After spending the last three months here, I’m ready to go home. Although, I don’t really know what home looks like after this. Raina had extended the welcome to their home and right now, that’s my only option. This isn’t the first time that I’m feeling this way, but I really wish that I would have done things differently in my past. Especially when it comes to the Sinclairs.
It’s kind of an awkward thought, thinking about going back there after being away from there for so long, but Raina always kept in touch and still visited me. I only lived at their house for my senior year of high school. And even though they never got the chance to adopt me, they were still the closest thing that I had to a family. I don’t know that I would go as far as to calling them that, especially when I ruined their lives, but it is what it is.
I finally climb out of bed and grab my bags that I had packed last night after work. Having a job was one good thing that I did while I was here. I kept the same job at the dispensary when I moved into sobriety living, but a fraction of our paychecks go toward rent and living costs. I can’t save money for the life of me because of the bullshit fines that I’m still paying off. The small amount that I was able to save just won’t cut it for a security deposit and everything I need for an apartment.
I was ready to just go rent a room in a random house, probably a crack house, but thankfully the Sinclair’s stepped in. It’s still weird, but whatever. I can’t be affected. I’ll stay with Raina for a little and then be on my way.
Giving my room a once over, I grab my bags and leave another chapter of my life behind.
“You ready to get the fuck out of here?” Ander asks me as he comes out of his room at the same time. I spent my time at the treatment center sharing a room with him before we both came to the halfway house.
His story is similar to the rest of ours. We all ended up in the same predicament because our demons all have an unquenchable thirst for the poison that we let run rampant in our veins. Ander’s is a little different though. I’m leaving here with no plan and he has his entire life planned out. He managed to turn his life around completely and now he’s going home to his pregnant girlfriend.
I wouldn’t say that I am jealous, because I wouldn’t want that fucking responsibility and pressure. But I would be lying if I didn’t say that it was a nice thought. Going home to someone who loves and cares about you. I’m leaving here like most of the other patients that come here--alone and with no clue how we’re going to make it in the real world.
“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” I deadpan as I walk past him and head for the stairs. His footsteps are loud behind me as we make our way to the first floor.
“Do you need somewhere to crash?” he asks quietly. I can hear the concern in his voice and I don’t fucking understand it. We were never something that I would really consider as friends. I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances and that’s the list that Ander ended up on. Friendships are fleeting and I already know that once we walk out that front door, I’ll never see him again. “I can ask Hadley. I’m sure that she won’t mind.”
My jaw clenches. “I’m not a charity case. Worry about yourself.”
“Look, I know that we never really saw eye to eye, but we were both in this together.” Ander pauses at the front door as he reaches into his front pocket. My eyebrows pinch together as he pulls out a small piece of paper and hands it to me. “Call me if you ever need anything. This shit isn’t gonna be easy and we gotta have each other’s backs, you know?”
I tuck the small piece of paper in my back pocket. “Yeah...” My voice trails off awkwardly. I’ve never done well with pleasantries, but Ander already knows that. He knows how I operate. “I’ll text you when I get a phone.”
“Be easy, man.” He smiles as he pulls open the front door. “We’re finally fucking outta here.”
I hear footsteps behind me, but I don’t turn around. My jaw clenches and I tighten my grip on the handle of my bag.
“We better never see you here again, Ander.” Jude’s voice breaks through the silence. My blood fucking boils at the sound of it.If it weren’t for him, I never would have ended up here.
Ander turns around, nodding at Jude before he trots down the walkway and through the gate. I watch after him as he hops into his girl’s car and leans over to kiss her. As much as I enjoy my solitude and being alone, I wish I knew what that felt like.
“Mom should be here soon,” Jude says behind me. His voice is harsh and low. “Stay away from Ainsley while you are there.”
My body grows rigid. Ainsley shouldn’t be there. She moved out. I don’t turn around to face him and step out onto the front porch, glaring at the road as I wait for Raina.
“Oh shit, you didn’t know, did you?” Jude chuckles lately. “She moved back home a few months ago.”
