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Killian freezes in place. He pulls his lips away from my skin and his fingers still across my waist. He doesn’t make a move or a sound. He stands frigid like an ice sculpture as the coldness creeps in.
“I’m moving out of the halfway house soon,” I tell him, my voice quiet in the darkness. “You’ll be moving into the one for the guys then too.”
“Okay…”
I take a deep breath. “I need to know what your plans are after you get out of there.”
His jaw tics. “I don’t have any plans yet.”
“That’s what we need to figure out. We can’t keep avoiding this.”
“Why not?” he asks, his voice sinister and mocking. “Isn’t that what you’re good at, baby girl? All we do is avoid the fucking hard shit so we can keep things nice and easy between us.”
I snort. “Since when were things ever easy between us, Killian?” I shake my head, the irritation building at his dismissal. “I got an apartment.”
“Cool,” he says, the warmth of his breath against my skin a contrast to his icy tone. “I’ll send you a house warming gift.”
“Stop being a fucking asshole,” I growl at him, wrapping my hands tighter around the back of his neck. “I want you to come live with me when you get out of the halfway house.”
“Hmm,” he muses aloud, abruptly pulling away from me. My arms fall away from him and a rush of cold air takes the place of his warm body against me. “That sounds like a pity offering. I don’t know what I’m doing, so you’re trying to take me in as a charity case.”
My eyes strain against the darkness as I stare at him. He’s irrational and unbelievable right now. I know that Killian comes with a lot of torment in his past, but there’s no reason why it should be relevant in his life now. “If we’re in a relationship, it’s not a fucking charity case. It’s us taking the next step and moving forward together.”
Killian’s silent. My heart pounds rapidly in its cage. I wait, but his silence consumes the small room. “Are we together or not?”
“I don’t know, Ainsley,” he sneers, his voice low and harsh. “Are we?”
I suddenly feel small, like I’m shrinking but the walls of the room are quickly closing in on me. I can’t fucking breathe in here with him. My chest heaves as I suck in a shallow breath. “Where is this coming from?”
“Fuck,” he breathes harshly. “I don’t fucking know. I’m sorry, okay?”
“For what?”
Killian steps closer to me, his hands reaching for my face. I flinch as his fingertips graze my skin and he lets out a ragged breath as he cups the side of my face. “For being a fucking asshole. I’ve just been on edge lately and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. Of course, I’ll move in with you.”
“Okay,” I whisper as he steps into my space, his face dipping down to mine. His lips touch mine, claiming me as he inhales me. Killian silences me with his touch and yet again, we’re left with so many unanswered questions hanging in the air.
TWENTY-ONE
KILLIAN
The days pass by quicker than I anticipated. And just like the seasons change, so do we. It’s been almost a month since Ainsley brought up the future. I meant to ask her how her move went and how her apartment was, but whenever I had the chance, I never could get the words out.
We’ve been caught in an endless, toxic cycle. We sneak around with stolen kisses and forbidden touches behind unsuspecting eyes. Ainsley has tried to talk to me and I’ve shut her up and shut her down every goddamn time.
I don’t want to think about what comes after this. I just want to think about her, about what we have now. Because I know in the end, she will see the truth of what we really are. She’s the light and I’m the darkness.
Ainsley is moving on in life and she’s leaving me behind.
I have to let her go before I drag her into the depths of hell that she’ll never be able to escape. She never belonged in my world.
It’s time for her to shine without me.
TWENTY-TWO
AINSLEY
I hate the way that things have been between us. I hate that neither of us are able to talk about the fucking future—our future together. I hate the hold that he has over me.
