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My jaw tightens. “Don’t fucking speak to me again. Do you hear me? I never want to see you again.”
Jude nods, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say. I’ll tell Mom that you were already gone when I got here.”
“Tell her whatever the fuck you want.”
Jude’s lips curl upward into a cruel smirk. “Enjoy your walk home.”
I give him the middle finger, turning my back as I jog away from him. My feet don’t slow until he’s a distant thought in my mind and I can’t see the building when I turn back around to look. I walk down the streets, watching as my surroundings get sketchier and the people around me become even more suspicious looking.
Jude knew that I would have to walk through the slums, passing temptation after temptation on every corner of every street. It was in the back of my mind when I told him that I would walk home. I wanted to walk past it. I wanted to have to face it head-on because I was never really ready to give it up.
I knew that I wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away from the temptation and I was ready to surrender to my demons.
“What can I do for you, pretty lady?” one of the young guys on the corner says to me as I approach him. “You’re either lost or you’re lookin’ to cop something.”
I swallow hard over the knives that lodge in my throat and feel the butterflies scratching against the insides of my stomach as they violently thrash around. “You got any? Smack”
His lips curl upward, showing his crooked teeth. “Follow me, pretty girl.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
KILLIAN
Lying on my back, I stare up at the ceiling. The room is dark, so dark that I can’t see my hand in front of my face. My eyes strain against the darkness, slowly adjusting to the absence of light. This is exactly what life feels like right now. This room is an exact replica of my life.
There is no light anymore. Ainsley was the only light that I had ever had in my life and I extinguished that the moment that I sent her away. It was for her own good and I can’t help but wonder if I went and fucked that all up by going to see her.
She wasn’t supposed to see me, but of course, she did. And I couldn’t lie to her anymore. Not after seeing her and hearing the desperation in her voice. I owed her the truth, even if it derailed her progress.
She accepted everything that I told her, even when I told her that we had to be over. There was no room for us in this world. There’s too much other shit that needs to be dealt with before we can focus on each other. Ainsley seemed like she had some deeper level of understanding with it than I thought she would.
That doesn’t mean that she kept that thought in her mind after I shut the door behind me.
There’s no telling what Ainsley did with everything that I told her after I left. That was hers to deal with and it was out of my control. I will always love her, she will always be a thought in my mind and a worry that troubles me, but I can’t focus on that anymore.
I have to give her her space to get better. It’s the only way that this can be done.
My phone lights up, illuminating the room as it shines brightly from the nightstand. I don’t look at it, keeping my eyes trained on the ceiling. My eyes burn, struggling to adjust to the brightness after they finally adjust to the darkness.
The screen turns off as the call goes to voice mail. It isn’t but a few seconds later that it lights up the room again. It vibrates loudly against the wooden nightstand, ringing loudly in my ears. A frustrated sigh slips from my lips and I roll over, grabbing it in a haste. I roll back onto my back, holding my phone in front of my face as I squint my eyes at the screen.
My heart skips a beat and my stomach sinks. It’s Ainsley.
“Baby?” I say quietly, my voice hesitant as I hold the phone up to my ear.
Her words are slurred and garbled. I can’t make out a single fucking one as she struggles to speak into the phone. The panic grows within me, consuming me all at once. I sit up in a rush, my feet hitting the floor as I sit on the edge of the bed.
“Ainsley, what the fuck is going on?”
I hear her clear her throat, inhaling deeply. “Can you come pick me up?” Her voice is hoarse. Her words are still slurred and drawn out like she’s moving in slow motion, but I can understand what she’s saying.
“Where are you?”
Now isn’t the time to ask questions. From the thickness in her voice, it flows like molasses. I already have all of the answers that I need to know what’s going on. She’s high and this time it isn’t pills. She must have tripped and fell on a needle, because that’s the sound of heroin oozing from her voice.
“Uh, I don’t know.” She pauses and I hear a rustling coming through the phone. A door slams shut and there’s a loud voice yelling in the background. “I’m on the corner of Coral and Green.”
My stomach drops. I let out the breath that I didn’t know I was holding as I jump to my feet. She’s in one of the shittiest parts of the city, where someone wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in you for five dollars. The only positive is I’m only two minutes away from her.
