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Cartier tosses her paper towel in the trash can and turns back to look at me with her hand on the door handle. Her blue eyes are void of any emotion and she gives me a blank stare. “My parents are dead. My aunt sent me there.”
My lips part, but I quickly shut them as Cartier pulls open the door, motioning for me to leave the bathroom. It’s like our conversation didn’t even happen in there as we head into the room where our first group meeting is. Cartier sits down on the chair next to me, giving me a sideways grin as we both float above the rest of the people here.
We’re on a wavelength of our own, but I can’t ignore the questions that linger in my head as Cartier’s words follow me through the day. I feel like an asshole for being so damn ignorant. She’s been fighting some serious demons that she doesn’t want to talk about and I’ve been sitting here like an entitled little shit, acting like my shit is worse than hers.
Like I said, I have a lot of fucking work to do.
* * *
The day islong as hell, but before we know it, it’s already the afternoon and we just wrapped up our final meeting. I sat through three different group meetings, a solo therapy session and two group therapy sessions. It’s hard to stay focused during all of the sessions and listening to various different people talk, but I feel like it helps to some degree.
Who the hell am I kidding? Maybe Killian was right. Is it really helping if I’m still getting high, even if I’m not using heroin? It’s only a matter of time before I circle around back to that point.
Cartier and I walk outside together, ignoring the rest of the group members as they all file out, walking to their cars or their rides. I stop at the bottom of the stairs and Cartier turns back toward me. “You don’t need a ride today?”
“No.” I shake my head, my brow furrowed as I scan the cars lined up along the curb. My eyes scan the different vehicles, looking for my mom’s black SUV. “My mom said that she was going to pick me up, but maybe she’s just running late.”
“You want me to wait with you?” Cartier offers, shifting her weight on her feet.
“I’ll be good.” I smile at her. “Thanks though, I appreciate it.”
“Any time, girl.” She smiles back. “I know that we haven’t known each other long, but I have a feeling we’re going to be friends for the rest of our lives. I can feel it, you know?”
I nod, knowing exactly what feeling she’s talking about. I don’t know that I trust her like I should, but there are very few people that I actually trust. I feel like I can be myself around Cartier and not be judged. “I feel the same way.”
“Thank god for fucked-up lives and stupid intensive outpatient programs.” She laughs lightly, shaking her head as she drops her sunglasses over her eyes. “See you tomorrow!”
I hold my hand up, waving to her as I pull my phone out of my purse. I scan through my contacts, looking for my mom’s but just as I’m about to tap on her name, a voice breaks through the silence, interrupting me.
“Hey little sis.”
My heart pounds in my chest and the air leaves my lungs in a rush. I lift my head, my eyes meeting the same brown ones that match mine. “What are you doing here, Jude?”
Jude tilts his head to the side, the corners of his lips curling upward. “You mean Mom didn’t tell you that I was going to pick you up today?”
“Why the fuck would you pick me up?” I ask him, unable to keep the irritation from my voice. He’s the last person that I want to see. There’s no relationship between us anymore. Neither of us can stand the other, so him being here makes absolutely no sense.
“She had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon that was running late, so she called me to come get you.”
I narrow my eyes at him, dropping my phone in my purse. “She didn’t say anything to me about it.”
Jude shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you. She probably didn’t say anything because she knows you better than that.”
“So, what? She just sends you here without telling me and expects me to get in your car without any issues?” I shake my head, a harsh laugh slipping from my lips. “Fuck that. I’ll walk.”
I turn away from him, heading down the opposite way on the sidewalk, putting as much distance as I can between the two of us. His footsteps are loud behind me as he jogs after me. He wraps his hand around my forearm, pulling me to a stop. “Ainsley, just get in the car.”
“There’s no fucking way I’m going with you. Especially after the last time I saw you.”
“Give me a break,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes as he drops my arm. “Was I really wrong? Where’s your boy at now, because it looks like he left your ass in the dust. Were you slowing him down or something?”
“Fuck you, Jude.”
He glares down at me. “You know I was fucking right, so there’s no argument there. At least you’re getting some help so you can get your shit together.”
“Oh, you mean like you did?” I spit at Jude, tired of him being such a hypocrite. “After the shit that you pulled and put on our family, you really have the audacity to judge me?”
“At least I wasn’t the reason behind Mom and Dad splitting up.”
