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It’s kind of hard to argue against that degree of genuine sentimentality, and we fall quiet. Our game’s temporarily forgotten, and I think about how much has changed. It used to be that I would never have thought like this. It wasn’t even an option. I was going to take over the world. He who gets to the top first, while amassing the biggest pile of money, wins. That was it, the entirety of the game plan. But now…
Do I need the whole world?
What would Raven think of my home? Or of my friends, even?
What would she think of an oversized television, premium leather couch, or custom-made bed with Egyptian cotton sheets?
Would she see the sacrifices I’ve made to obtain all of this? Or would she see it the same way Austin jokes about my aircraft carrier model, a shallow, if not futile, attempt to make up for a hard childhood?
Would she be impressed by the trappings of wealth I’ve surrounded myself with as a shield to protect myself from my past? Or not give a damn as long as she got me in the deal?
And isn’t that the biggest question of all? Am I enough, or am I simply a means to an end for her?
I don’t know.
I don’t think she’s using me. She’s too naïve, too innocent in her goals for that, but the damage done to my heart doesn’t let outsiders in easily. I might have feelings for Raven, ones that go well beyond my desire for her body and appreciation of her mind, but only time will tell what it means. I don’t know what I want from her, but I know I want more of her. I’m not exactly sure what all I’m willing to give in return, though.
We play a few more hands, but my mood has shifted. I want to see Raven. Fuck, I feel like Ineedto see her, if for no other reason than to confirmthat she’s still mine.
It’s wishful thinking, well beneath my analytical mind, but the foolish desire is there nonetheless, flitting about inside my warped heart.
It’s nearly an hour later when my phone vibrates in my pocket. “Just a minute, gentlemen,” I say, standing up and picking up my glass. “I need a refresher. Anyone else?”
I go over to my bar and open up my phone.
There’s a message from Raven.Thank you for this weekend. Mom loved the hotel.
I’m glad. Are you staying with her tonight?
I need to know where she is, not because I have any claim on her, but so my mind will rest easier as I try to sleep later. It will be a futile attempt, but at least this will be one less concern on my heavy mind.
No, she’s leaving early in the morning and wanted a good night’s sleep. I’m at home.
My heartbeat skips and flips in a noticeable way. She is available. I could go to her, or have her brought here.
Come over. I’ll send a car.
Dylan…
I swallow and type three words that show more weakness than I’d prefer to reveal.I need you. Apparently, you have me addicted.
I need her tonight more than ever. I need the distraction her body offers, the pinpoint focus her smile provides, the relief from the painful past that only she can bring.
I wait, watching for her answer, and when it comes and she’s agreed to come over, I can’t stop the unbidden smile that stretches my mouth.Sending a car now.
I slip my phone back into my pocket and glance up to find everyone’s eyes on me, apparently watching the entirety of my text exchange with Raven play out on my face.
“I know what that grin means,” Austin says.
“I’m sorry to say, that’s the game,” I announce. “Thank youall for coming over, but I’ve got something that needs my attention tonight.”
Teddy grumbles. He’s down about two thousand dollars, while Noah looks curious. Austin raises a brow at my wording, “More likesomeoneneeds your attention.” He doesn’t sound upset. If anything, he’s amused at my quick turn of mood.
Austin’s clarification gets Ollie moving quickly. “In that case, I believe we can cash out and be out of here in ten minutes, don’t you, gentlemen?”
Austin starts counting his chips. He’s willing to make a guess, if anything. “We can pick this up another night.”
“That works for me,” I tell them and glance at the clock, eager for them to get out so I can have Raven all to myself.
