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“That’s not what this is. You have to know that.”
"What else am I supposed to think? I opened up to you, shared things I don’t share with anyone. Not even Elio knows about that night Lazaro kicked those fuckers’ asses. And then today, the day after I tell you that… after spending the night with you, my office is searched? That’s no coincidence. I don’t know what you heard yesterday to make you think you’d find something here. Clearly, you think I’m dumb enough to have something incriminating, but?—”
"That's not true.” A desperate feeling wells inside me. I can’t stand that she thinks I used her trust against her. That I’d orchestrated this search.
"You used my love for my brother to manipulate me. You knew how desperate I was to find Lazaro, and you dangled thathope in front of me like bait. It’s all a lie, isn’t it, Henry? You never planned to look for him, did you?"
Her accusation cuts deep, not just because of its intensity but because there's truth in it. I can't deny that I initially approached her with ulterior motives. A part of me says I need to fix this by giving her the info I have on Lazaro and then reporting the officers who searched the office. After that, I need to take myself off the case and stay the fuck away from her because I can’t fall even more, only to have our differences create this toxic mix.
But what I really want to do is take her in my arms and soothe the hurt and betrayal she feels. I need her to know I’m not the man she’s accusing me of being. Like to my core, I need her to know I’m not like the cops who were here this morning.
"You're right. At first, I did use Lazaro's disappearance as a way to get close to you.”
She gives me a look of triumph. “At least you’re honest.”
"But something happened that I didn't expect.” I take a step toward her. "I fell for you, Lana. Hard."
She holds a hand up. “Don’t. I won’t fall for that again.”
“It’s the truth. I didn't anticipate these feelings. I shouldn’t feel them. I know what’s on the line, and yet, I can’t stop wanting you.” I run a hand through my hair, frustration and vulnerability warring inside me. "My career, my integrity, everything I've worked for… it's all on the line because I can’t stop myself from falling for you."
“Right, well if that’s true, I feel sorry for you then, because I don’t feel anything for you.”
My heart sinks, even as the pain in her eyes suggests she’s lying. "I understand why you don't trust me. I've given you plenty of reasons not to. What I’m saying is true. My feelings?—”
She laughs bitterly. "Your feelings? What about your job, Henry? Your duty? Are you going to throw all that away for me?"
I hesitate, and I see something flicker in her eyes. Disappointment? Resignation?
"That's what I thought," she says, her voice cold. "You can't have it both ways, Detective. You can't be the cop trying to bring down my family and the man who claims to love me. It doesn't work like that."
She’s slipping away, assuming I’d even had her. And the worst part is, I can't entirely blame her. How can I expect her to believe me when I'm still torn between my duty and my heart?
Lana's eyes are fixed on me, waiting for my next move. I know I need to be honest with her, even if it risks pushing her away for good.
“Okay. I understand. But you should know that while I did use Lazaro to spend time with you, my promise to look into his disappearance wasn’t lip service. I have been investigating, and I've made some progress on his case.”
She raises an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “What have you found? Or are you going to give me the same nothing-burger of information you tried to give the other night?”
"I've tracked down reports of abandoned vans matching the description of the one that took him. I'm planning to follow up on them, see if there were any suspicious activities reported in those areas around the time of Lazaro's disappearance."
I’m heartened by the flicker of hope I see in her eyes.
“Of course, it’s possible the van was broken up, so I’ll be visiting some chop shops as well.”
Lana studies my face, I imagine searching for signs of deception. "You're really doing this?" A hint of vulnerability creeps into her voice.
"I am. Because it matters to you, and because it's the right thing to do. I know it's not much to go on, but it's a start. And I promise you, I'm going to follow every lead, no matter where it takes me."
My breath holds as I wait for her response. It could go either way. Either she’ll believe me or think it’s a ploy to stay close to bring her family down. God, I hope she believes me. Standing here, waiting, it feels like my life is on the line. Like my future happiness is in the balance.
21
LANA
Istare at Henry, trying to process everything he's telling me. Part of me wants to believe him so badly. The way he looks at me, the sincerity in his voice, it all feels real. But how can I trust him after what just happened? I can still feel that cop pressing his dick into me, the lewd threats he made. Not to mention the humiliation of being cuffed in front of my employees. It helps ward off the desire to believe him.
"You've claimed before that you were looking into Lazaro's case. But you haven't given me anything concrete. Not a single piece of real evidence."
