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I think back to the incident. He stood too close as he uncuffed her. It appeared he said something, but… it couldn’t have been sexually threatening, could it?
“I should have trusted my instincts and stayed away from you.” The vigor in her voice drops, like all the wind has left her sails.
“What did he say?” I’ve got a sick feeling in my gut.
“I told you. When he cuffed me, he suggested I might get off if I suck his dick. And when he uncuffed me, he said something to the effect that I’d suck his dick before he was done with me.”
I study Lana's face, searching for signs of deception. Is she playing me? Trying to turn me against my fellow officers?
"That's a serious allegation, Lana," I say carefully.
“Fuck you, Henry. Don’t even pretend you didn’t brag about fucking me to them. Just—” Her voice breaks. “Just get out.”
It’s the tears welling in her eyes that hit me in the gut. I know they’re not tears for what the cop said to her. They’re tears of betrayal. My betrayal in questioning her story.
My blood runs cold. Anger surges. “I never told anyone about us. First, I’m not a man to share his sexual exploits, but second, I’d be risking my career to tell anyone about us. In fact, I wondered if that was your point. To compromise me.” I don’t want to reveal so much because even as I’m beginning to see that I might be wrong about all this, I still have to consider that Lana is the one who could get an Oscar for acting.
She scoffs. “Right. Didn’t you just say no one would believe my making an accusation against the police? You don’t believe that dickhead groped me, so how would anyone believe anything I said against Detective Lutz who shits sunshine and righteousness?”
I wince, because it was an asshole thing to say, especially since it verifies to her that justice isn’t blind. "I shouldn't have said that.”
She laughs bitterly. "You're just like the rest of them. Corrupt cops protecting their own."
Her words sting, but I can't entirely deny them. I've seen enough in my years on the force to know that not every cop is as clean as they should be. Hell, she knows it too as there’s no doubt her family has cops on their payroll. I’m convinced the officers who responded to the domestic dispute at the Collins home worked for Elio. But who is going to condemn dirty cops who took out a man who’d been holding a knife to a child’s throat?
"Not all cops are corrupt. Some really do want to help. To make a difference.” My defense sounds weak even to me.
“Is that what you were doing when I was holding on to your headboard while you fucked me? Making a difference? Investigating me intimately so you can rid the good citizens of Chicago of my presence?”
“Jesus, Lana…” I drag my hands through my hair, at a loss for words because I can see how she’d think that.
“What, Henry? Does the truth hurt?”
“Look, if they?—”
“If?” She gapes at me, and it’s the hurt over the anger that flares in her eyes.
“I’ll deal with it.”
She shakes her head. Her disappointment in me guts me. “Never mind. Men like that don’t scare me anymore. Lazaro taught me that. Besides, it’s no surprise they’d act like that. They’re cops. They can do whatever they want, right? Because who will believe me?”
Fuck. I want to deny it except I’m the one who said it.
“As far as I’m concerned, the only good cop is one you have in your pocket,” she finishes.
I don’t like being pushed back on my heels. My defenses rise. "Is that what this is about, Lana? Did you fuck me to get me in your pocket?”
Lana's body tenses, and again, I feel like an asshole. "You’re the one fucking me for information. Were you planning to pass me around to all your buddies before taking me and my family down?”
Her words hit me like a physical blow. “What happened between us has nothing to do with the case.”
“I’m not an idiot, at least not anymore,” she hisses. “You've been trying to entrap me from the start. Getting close to me, pretending to care about my brother, all so you could dig up dirt on my family.”
The accusation hangs in the air between us, heavy and suffocating. I want to deny it, to tell her she's wrong, but she’s not. I didn’t fuck her to bring her family down, but I did use Lazaro’s disappearance as an excuse to spend time with her so I could get information. The problem is I fell for her.
I don’t even know how to respond. “Lana?—”
"Save it. I should have known better than to trust a cop. That’s on me. My bad. Well, I'm done being your pawn, Henry."
