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“I’m not asking for perfectionperfect, Wade,” she says, her voice trembling. “I’m just asking for you. All of you.”
Her words hang in the air between us, and for a moment, neither of us says anything. I can feel the weight of the conversation pressing down on me, suffocating me. I want to give her what she’s asking for, but I’m terrified of failing her, of failing us.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, feeling like a broken record. “I just… I need some time.”
Auden nods, but I can see the resignation in her eyes, the acceptance that maybe this isn’t going to work out the way she hoped. It’s like a punch to the gut, knowing that I’m the reason she’s feeling this way.
“Take your time, Wade,” she says quietly. “But don’t take too long.”
With that, she turns and walks away, leaving me standing there on the porch, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. I watch her go, wanting to call her back, to tell her that I’ll figure it out, that everything will be okay. But the words stick in my throat, and all I can do is watch as she disappears from sight.
I’m still reeling from the conversation with Auden when I pull up to Ray’s house. My mind is a jumbled mess of emotions—guilt, fear, frustration—and I know I need to talk to him, to try and make sense of everything that’s going on in my head.
Ray’s outside, working on an old truck that’s been parked in the driveway for as long as I can remember. He looks up when he hears me pull in, wiping his hands on a rag as he comes over to greet me.
“Wade,” he says, his tone warm but tinged with concern. “You look like you’ve been through the wringer. What’s going on?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I lean against the side of the truck. “I’m an idiot, Ray. A complete and total idiot.”
Ray raises an eyebrow, clearly waiting for me to elaborate. So, I do. I tell him everything, about how I’ve been avoidingAuden, about the conversation we just had, about the fear that’s been eating away at me. I spill it all, not holding anything back, because if there’s one person who can help me make sense of this, it’s Ray.
When I’m done, Ray just stands there for a moment, looking at me with a mixture of pity and exasperation. Then he shakes his head and lets out a low chuckle.
“You are an idiot,” he says, but there’s no malice in his tone. “But you’re not a lost cause. You just need to get your head out of your ass and stop overthinking everything.”
I blink, taken aback by his bluntness. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re so wrapped up in your own fears that you’re pushing away the best thing that’s ever happened to you,” Ray says, his voice firm. “You’ve got a good woman who loves you, and you’re letting your own insecurities ruin it.”
“I don’t want to ruin it,” I say, my voice strained. “But I’m scared, Ray. What if I mess this up? What if I’m not good enough for her?”
Ray gives me a hard look, his eyes narrowing. “Wade, you’ve been through more crap in your life than most people could handle, and you’ve come out the other side stronger for it. You’re more than good enough for her. But if you keep letting your fear control you, you’re going to lose her. And trust me, you’ll regret it.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks, the truth of them sinking in deep. He’s right. I’m letting my fear dictate my actions, and in doing so, I’m sabotaging the very thing I want to protect.
“What do I do?” I ask, my voice small.
Ray claps a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze. “You go get your girl. You tell her everything you just told me—about your fears, your insecurities, all of it. Be honestwith her, and then let her decide what she wants. But don’t keep her in the dark. She deserves better than that.”
I nod, the weight of his words settling on my shoulders. I know what I have to do, but the thought of it still terrifies me. Still, I can’t let that stop me. I’ve already hurt Auden enough, and I need to make things right.
“Thanks, Ray,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “I needed to hear that.”
Ray smiles, a small, proud smile that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I’m not as lost as I thought. “You’re a good man, Wade. Don’t ever forget that.”
I take a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of determination. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to talk to Auden, lay it all out on the line, and pray that she’s willing to give me another chance.
It’s time to stop running. It’s time to face this head-on, no matter how scared I am. Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I can’t lose her. Not without a fight.
With a newfound resolve, I head back to my truck, ready to do what I should have done days ago.
It’s time to go get my girl.
SEVENTEEN
Auden
The drive homefeels longer than usual, the road stretching out in front of me like a never-ending ribbon of asphalt. I can’t seem to focus, my mind replaying the events of the last few days over and over, like a broken record that won’t stop skipping.
