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Her words are the key to the lock I’ve chained myself with. Free now, I lean towards her tempting mouth and press my lips to hers. Soft. Satiny. Sweet. She opens on a silent gasp, but I continue to savor her by nipping and licking her lips, feeling the full lushness against me for the first time.
While my world tilts on its axis and Kenya’s simple kiss remakes me from every atom within my body, I remain powerless to do anything but continue our embrace.
“Cameron,” she moans.
My name causes a rush of hunger through me and I answer her silent demand by pushing my tongue into her waiting cavern.Heaven.I cup her face and deepen the kiss, drowning myself in her taste. Under the minty toothpaste she uses, her sweetness comes through.
She pulls away from me, panting with a hand raised.
“Did I do something wrong?”
She shakes her head. “No, I…” She takes a deep breath and straightens. “While I trust you, I can’t trust myself not to go too far when you kiss me that way.”
With a sigh of regret, I swipe her bottom lip with my tongue one last time. I need to commit the feel and taste of her to memory even if it will torment me in my dreams. “I understand. I’ll take the couch.”
Kenya grabs my hand before I take a step. “No, that’s not what I mean or what I want.” She leads me to the bed where we sit side by side. “I want to take things slowly between us, but in the moment when we’re kissing, I can easily see myself dismissing that and going farther, despite the regrets that will come after. So, I’m asking you to be the one to keep what we do at just kissing because I can’t.”
“I don’t think this will work. After kissing you, there’s no way I can temper what I do. No way I can act like I don’t want to memorize your taste and mouth or that each time I have to wait until the next time our lips meet isn’t an eternity.”
“Is that how it is for you?”
“How is it for you?”
Kenya stares into her lap while circling her thumbs around each other. “I’ve already admitted that you make me want to throw away all my inhibitions.” She touches her lips. “I think you’ve already tattooed yourself on my lips and seeped into my tastebuds. Nothing will ever taste the same or as good.” She turns beseeching eyes to me. “Even if you can’t be the one to stop us from going too far, there’s no need for you to sleep on the couch. You didn’t take advantage of me when I was drunk, I trust you not to do so now.”
I touch my forehead against hers with a beleaguered sigh. “Alright, I’ll promise not to cross the line for both of us.”
We get under the covers. With Kenya in my arms, I kiss her until passion threatens to overtake my senses. Between feverish exchanges, we talk about anything. About random thoughts and jokes from the convention, pranks I used to play with Khadijah that put a wistful smile on Kenya’s face, and scenarios she made Jazzy act out whenever a storyline proved difficult.
The hours pass and our yawns become more frequent. Kenya presses her head against my sternum and traces the tattoo of a treble clef on my chest. I’ve never experienced torture like this, but I’ll return for more for as long as she’ll have me. Being with Kenya in any capacity is a prize in itself. With her in my arms, courage swells inside me.
As silence fills the gap between us, I finally admit what I’ve been holding back from her. I breathe a sigh of relief now that I no longer have to hide my identity, but the lack of response from Kenya begins to worry me. I push her onto her back to see that she’s fallen asleep.
I drop my forehead on the pillow next to her head in defeat. When will the universe cut me a break?
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Kenya
Istretch my limbs as a sense of peace that I’ve been missing fills my body. I can’t tell if it’s because I finally listened to Keating, albeit in my own way—I will not jump right into bed with Cameron just because she thinks my libido should make my decisions for me. Or could my new serenity be thanks to the meeting with Lindsey affirming my vision, or being in Cameron’s arms again guilt-free this time?
I touch my lips as the memory of Cameron’s kisses swamp me. Even now, heat floods my body and I yearn for another taste of him. I blindly reach out to his side, but it’s empty. The sheets are still warm, so he can’t be far. I jump out of bed as he leaves the adjoining bathroom.
With only pajama pants on, I get an unfiltered view of his muscled chest. With his disheveled hair, Cameron makes me want to drag him into the bed and do the things I asked him not to do last night.
“Morning,” I smile and rise from the bed.
“Morning,” he croaks and looks away. Then he shakes his head and returns his gaze while closing in on me. “Since we’re doing this relationship thing, I think I should tell you that you are a walking temptation.” He leans over me and kisses me good morning despite my morning breath.
This is no light peck on the lips. He takes control of the kiss, the same level of need from last night evident in the morning light and just as sexy. I clutch his shoulders, trying to get closer, needing to get closer. He is fast becoming as important to me as the air circulating inside my lungs.
He wraps his arms around my waist, bringing our bodies together. His erection presses into my belly but he doesn’t make any moves to do anything more than kiss me. Satisfaction filters through my body. He keeps proving me right about his trustworthiness.
When we part, panting, our eyes wild with passion, I lean towards him for a second round only for my phone to ring.
“It’s probably Jazzy wanting to know what’s keeping us.” Regret colors Cameron’s voice as he presses our foreheads together before stepping away.
I reach to answer the call. The screen displays G-mama’s number. “G-mama? Is everything okay?”
