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The whole immortal / not-immortal thing presents legitimate logistical challenges (sidenote: consult with Frederick re: what it’s like to date a human, but don’t tell him why I’m asking because he’ll be insufferable for the next century if I do)
I don’t know if she’s afraid of me or not and that also seems like it could be an impediment to a real relationship
I don’t know if she feels the same way about me that I do about her
Dating her and then losing her might break what’s left of my heart
As it had in Wisconsin, Reggie’s playful mask had slipped just enough to show the vulnerability he hid from the rest of the world. His heart might not beat anymore‚ but my own heart was full enough in that moment for both of us.
I placed the journal on the bed and took his hands. I couldn’t tell whether it was his that were shaking or if mine were. I rubbed my thumbs back and forth across the backs of his to try and calm us both.
“I don’t do risks,” I said. “Not ever. I went to college, became a CPA, and then got a job at a big accounting firm. Because I was good at that kind of work, yes. But also because it was safe.” I shook my head. “I need to know a book’s ending before I start it. I cannot handle surprises. Anything that isn’t a predictable, sure thing terrifies me more than I can say.”
His jaw worked. “I understand,” he said. He started pulling away, the hurt and rejection in his eyes telling me he didn’t understand at all.
So I grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and kissed him. It was just a quick press of my lips to his, over as soon as it began.
“Will you let me finish, please?” I asked, grinning.
Reggie regarded me with a stunned expression. “By all means.”
I leaned in again and pressed another featherlight kiss to the corner of his mouth. His eyes slipped closed.
“What I’m trying to say is that I want to try this, despite how out of my usual comfort zone it is.” I paused and gathered my courage. He’d shown me his heart by sharing this journal entry, hadn’t he? I could find it within myself to do the same. “I want to tryus.Because I like you. A lot.”
He cracked open one eye. “You’d be willing to try this even though the ending to our story would be the opposite of already written?”
I hesitated, but only for a moment. “I’ve never tried storytelling before. Might be fun to write our own ending, don’t you think?”
He beamed at me, his hands coming up to cradle my face an instant before he leaned in and kissed me.
I’d never known that it could feel so good, being held and kissed by another person. I wound my arms around his neck to pull him closer and urge him on‚ though he seemed to need no encouragement. He parted his lips to deepen the kiss, sending a frisson of delicious warmth right down my spine.
I slid a hand down his broad chest. No heartbeat; only stillness. Could he tell how much my own heart was racing? Or somehow sense the rapid pulse of blood through my veins?
“I am what I am,” he said a moment later, our faces still so close we were breathing the same air. “I would never, ever hurt you, but before we go any further, you should know the history books are full of examples of romantic entanglements between vampires and humans that…um.” He trailed off and pressed another quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. As though he couldn’t stop kissing me long enough to complete a full thought. “Historically, this sort of thing hasn’t always ended well for the human.”
I leaned back, resting my head against the wall behind me.Reggie regarded me nervously, like he was afraid I would disappear if he let me out of his sight for an instant.
“I thought I already told you,” I began, letting the corner of my mouth quirk up into the sort of half smile he was always giving me. His eyes tracked the movement of my lips. God, he was adorable. “I think history books are boring. Who needs them?”
