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Phillip tries to distract me with small talk, but as soon as we get to the family planning aisle, he falls silent too.
As I reach for the box, my hands start to shake. I almost drop the box several times on the way to and from the checkout lane. Even the safety of the car doesn’t soothe my nerves.
Phillip gently pries the box from my hands and chucks it into the back seat.
“Can we just go?” I ask.
“Not yet. You’re not okay. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s not important.”
“If it’s important to you, then it’s important,” he says firmly.
“It just hit me that this is happening. I really could be pregnant. We could be adding to our family much sooner that I wanted—anyone wanted, really. I knew that being pregnant was a possible outcome of the test even before I bought it, but having the test in my hand somehow makes it more real. We haven’t been together long. What happens if you change your mind and I end up alone?”
“I know what you mean.” He nods. “That box of tests does make things seem significantly more real, but you’re not alone. I promise you as long as I’m still breathing, you will never be alone again. I don’t care whether you’re pregnant or not. I don’t care if the only child we end up having in our lives is Leo or if we have ten more. I’m here to stay.”
He’s so earnest and loving and sincere that I have no idea how to emotionally process what he just said. So I do what feels safest and deflect.
“Ten? You’re out of your mind.”
“Three, then. One for each of the four of us to hold.”
I laugh. “I’ll think about it.”
“There’s that smile I love.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks.
“For making me feel better.”
“I told you I wanted to be with you, and I meant it. I’m not interested in just the fun parts or the easy parts. I want all of you. I want your anger, your joy, your fear—all of it. I’m not interested in some simpering high-society woman who’s barely more than a doll with a pull string. I want you. I adore every single facet of you. You are more than worthy of being loved, and if the only good thing I do in this life is help you see that, then I’ll die satisfied.”
I grab the back of his neck and pull him into me for a kiss. My hands slip into his hair as his tongue explores my mouth.
The center console digs into my hips as I try to press myself even closer to him, but I don’t care. I need him to know how much his words meant to me.
I’m too far gone to string a sentence together, but I can show him.
When I bite his bottom lip, he moans and rests his hands gently on either side of my waist.
It’s not enough.
I grab one of his hands and put it on my breast. Just the feel of him touching me over the fabric of my bra makes my heart race.
My other hand tightens in his hair as I stroke his hard length over his jeans.
He drops his head back against the headrest, breathing hard as I undo his pants one-handed.
“I think that might be one of the sexiest things I’ve seen you do with your clothes on. How did you do that so quickly?”
“I still have some tricks up my sleeve. Did you really think you’d seen them all?”
He starts to answer, but it’s cut off with a gasp when I wrap my lips around him. Feeling his hard length in my mouth makes my pussy slick with arousal.
I moan at the taste of him on my tongue, and his hands tighten in my hair.
