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“You don’t have to tell me you love me, but I do want to know if you’ll stay. I want you to, but I’d understand if it’s too painful for you after everything you told me earlier.”
“But what if I do love you?” he asks quietly. “Do you remember when we all went to the museum?”
I grimace.
“Not that part of it. Before that.” He smiles apologetically. “That morning, I’d been walking around moping about how I’d never be able to have a family of my own and how I’d never be good enough for you. I was miserable, but then we got to the puppet section and put on that silly little show. At that moment, I realized just how foolish I was being. I did have a family—you and Leo and Jamie and Wesley. Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I realized that one day, I might get to have that awesome little guy as my stepson. I know I still have a good bit of work to do on myself, but I’m yours if you’ll have me.”
A lump forms in my throat as my eyes travel between my three men.
Loving them had snuck up on me like a kid trying to scare their parents—very loudly and with tons of indications of what was happening. Except in this case, my obliviousness to it wasn’t feigned.
I should have figured it out a while ago, but it had taken them saying it first to make me realize my own feelings.
“I love you too—all three of you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and if it turns out that there's a life after this one, I promise I’ll find you there too.”
“I like the sound of that.” Wesley smiles. “I guess the only thing left to do now is go buy a test and see if we’re having a baby.”
33
AVERY
“So, who goes?” Wesley asks.
“I should probably go. I’ll be able to find it faster than any of you.” I bite my lip. “But that leaves you with Leo. Are you sure you’ll be okay with keeping an eye on him?”
“He’s already asleep. It won’t be that difficult. I think we’re more than able to manage that,” Jamie says.
“That’s what you said the first time you put him to bed.”
“Hey, we’ve gotten better since then.”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “You’re right. You guys are almost as good as I am at getting him to sleep now.”
I’m heading to the door when Wesley’s voice stops me. “You’re not going alone.”
“It’s going to take less than ten minutes and that’s including the drive. It’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think we should be taking any unnecessary risks. He might know you’re here.”
“With how much doubling back you three always do, I doubt it.” I sigh. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t be going alone, especially with what I’m going out to buy.”
“I’ve still got my shoes on. I’ll go with you,” Phillip says. “It might be nice to do this part with someone who likes me instead of just what I can give them. If that’s okay with you, I mean. I would understand completely if you’d rather go with someone who might actually be the father.”
The hurt in his eyes makes my heart ache.
If I ever meet Mary Elizabeth, even my men won’t be strong enough to hold me back.
“Three fathers, Phillip. Remember? I’d love for you to come with me.”
I flash a quick smile at Wesley and Jamie. “We’ll be back before you miss us.”
“Too late for that. I’m already drowning in despair,” Wesley says, clutching his heart dramatically.
“We should get out of here before he faints with grief,” Phillip mutters in my ear.
It only takes five minutes to get to the nearest grocery store, but my anxiety makes it feel like five years.
Every second is a lifetime of wondering if I want this test to come back positive or negative.
