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“Yeah, I had a big feeling in my heart and I got loud. Are we still friends?”
“Yes.” Leo nods. “More chickies, peas.”
As soon as the pieces of nugget hit his plate, he’s back to his sunshiny self.
I look back to Barb. “Let me try this again. I know you wouldn’t leave her if she was in serious trouble, but I still need to ask the question for my own peace of mind. Is she in the kind of headspace where she’s a danger to herself?”
“I wouldn’t have left her if she was.” She turns to her husband. “Why don’t you take Leo to look at the dessert case while I talk to them?”
When they’re out of earshot, she says, “It’s not that she’d hurt herself or is a danger to anyone. It’s more that she completely shuts down until she’s alone and then she’ll spend hours buried under a heap of horrible memories. She was trying to close herself off gradually so I wouldn’t notice and would be more inclined to leave her alone. I let her think it worked because on days like this, her pride is all she has left, which isn’t always a good thing.
“It’s hard for her to fall apart around other people, especially when it’s her father and me.” She shakes her head sadly. “Avery hates feeling like she’s a burden or a problem to the point where it’s hard for her to have certain emotions in front of people. I just want her not to be alone with this tonight, and with the way she was acting around me, I didn’t want to hurt her further by forcing my company on her.”
“If she doesn’t want you around, what choice do we have?” I ask hopelessly.
“I’ve seen the way she looks at you all. You make her feel safe in a way that we aren’t able to. It’s different when it’s your partner than when it’s your parent. If she opens up to anyone at all, it’ll be you three.”
“Somehow, I don’t seem to be hungry anymore. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this,” Phillip says, plunking a twenty on the table.
“I was feeling full myself,” Jamie agrees as he puts a handful of bills on the table.
“Me too,” I say, adding my own money to the pile. “Let’s say goodbye to Leo and David on our way out? It was so nice to finally meet you.”
“Hold on, you’re going to need my spare key for Avery’s place. The last thing she needs to deal with tonight is the noise from that awful buzzer.”
She unclips a set of keys from the key ring and hands them to us.
“Thank you.”
We start to walk away, but she stops us again.
“You’ve left enough money to cover meals and dessert for a party twice this size. There’s no need for that. We can pay for ourselves and Leo.”
“Absolutely not,” Jamie says. “This is on us. Grab a meal or some dessert, or both.”
“But that still would leave?—”
“The waitress with an excellent tip,” I interrupt. “She was great and deserves every penny of what’s left. More than that, actually.” I put another twenty on the table. “I’ve worked with a lot of waitresses over the years, and I know they don’t get half as much as they deserve.”
“She’s so lucky to have men like you.” Barb smiles.
“Wrong again, Ma’am. We’re the lucky ones.”
“Where did Leo and David go?” Phillip asks. “I didn’t think the dessert case was that big. They should be back by now.”
“Based on the number of empty juice boxes on the table, I imagine Leo had to use the restroom.” She chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell them goodbye for you.”
“Thank you.”
We fill the twenty minutes it takes to get to Avery’s with mindless, nervous chatter. It’s much safer than worrying—at least for me, it is.
If I start dwelling on every little thing she might be doing or feeling, I won’t be able to stop. I won’t be any good to her if I go down that rabbit hole right now.
When we step into her condo, it’s quiet—horror movie quiet. I’m half expecting some killer clown or demon to jump out of the shadows.
It’s clear she’s not in the main area, so that leaves two bathrooms and two bedrooms for us to check.
“Hall bathroom door is open. No one in there,” Phillip whispers.
