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“How?” I snap sharply. “How does drinking too much put sedatives in my system, Meghan?”
“Well…” Meghan’s face pinches slightly. “Look, you’ve been flaunting yourself all over campus, and that always attracts the wrong kind of attention, doesn’t it? I’m not saying it’s your fault, I’m just saying at some point, you have to look at yourself and see the kind of signals you’re putting out there.”
“Meghan—” Ana starts but I cut her off.
“What the hell are you trying to say?” The hurt in my chest swells into a tight ball and my fingers go rigid against my glass. “I could be fucking everyone I meet and that’s still no excuse for someone to slip something into my drink, for games or otherwise.”
“I’m not saying it is,” Meghan shoots back. “It’s never okay, but you have to know what kind of attention you’re attracting. I mean sure, this turned out okay because you are fine and you have Finn’s attention?—”
“I didn’t do this for attention, Meghan! This was done to me, and I would have thought you’d have a bit more sympathy given how worried you were in those texts.”
“I was worried.” Meghan remarks. “I thought something awful had happened?—”
“Something awful did happen!”
“Because you’re acting like some kind of whore!”
I can’t speak. Words catch in my throat and all that comes out is a strange gargle as I try to process Meghan’s hurtful words. How is she painting this like it’s my fault? Like I asked for this?
“Meghan, that’s fucking uncalled for,” Ana snaps, taking over my side of the argument. “I was giving you a slight pass because we all know you were raised with a prude stick up your ass but that’s no excuse for?—”
“Prude?!” Meghan yells, rising abruptly. “This has nothing to do with that and everything to do with Emma and how she’s throwing herself out there inviting danger in. What if it had been you, huh? Or me? We don’t have people checking up on us.”
“Bitch, are you jealous?” Ana scoffs sharply. “Emma got drugged but it’s okay because a hot teacher came to check on her? That doesn’t make what happened any less fucked up!”
“No, but I have less sympathy when you bring it on yourself.”
“Get out,” Ana snaps. “Get out and don’t come back until you’ve learned that a woman’s actions or dress code don’t ever invite that kind of action.”
Meghan’s eyes narrow and for a moment, I hope that Ana’s words get through to her. A false hope. Meghan grabs her coat and storms out of the dorm room, slamming the door behind her.
I hold it together until I look Ana in the eye, and then the tears come.
“Is that…is that what she really thinks? I brought it on myself?”
“Oh, honey.” Ana slides closer and drapes an arm around my shoulders. I lean in close and tuck under her mane of hair. “I think she was raised by religious freaks and she has her own issues to work out about where the blame lies.”
“I would hate myself if anything happened to either of you because of me,” I weep, trying to wipe away my tears but they pour too quickly.
Ana scoffs lightly. “Listen. Creeps in bars and clubs will always be creeps, regardless of what a woman is wearing or doing. You pursuing fun with people isn’t the reason this happened, okay? If anything, you were just unlucky, and Meghan will get over herself and realize that you being okay and safe is much more important than how much dick you’re trying to gobble.”
She pulls a laugh from me, even though my chest is cracking open and Meghan’s words repeat around my mind like the hiss of a snake.
I thought my flirting was pretty well contained to the men I was interested in, but did that make me come across as easy to anyone else?
“I’m sorry.” My breath hitches with my gentle sobs. “I don’t understand how this got so messy so quickly.”
“Listen.” Ana tucks some of my short hair behind my ear and cups my cheek. “What happened is insane, but pretty fucking common, okay? It’s not a reflection on you, or anyone. It’s an asshole being an asshole, and Meghan is just too Puritan and stuck up to see that. You’re amazing and beautiful, and I’m sorry that it happened and I’m so fucking glad you’re okay.”
She kisses my forehead multiple times, peppering her affection until she draws another laugh from me.
Meghan is right about one thing. I have been a little reckless in terms of pursuing these men, especially Caspian. But I can’t deny how wanted I felt when Finn turned up looking for me. Even when Caspian was very concerned about what happened with my car, and Asher was so attentive when we were together.
Is it wrong to feel wanted? To enjoy all that? Am I inviting more trouble by trying to keep all three of them with me?
“I like them all, by the way,” I murmur into my sleeve as I wipe at my tears. “You remember when she said I was being a cheater? I thought about it, and I like all three of them. Is that wrong of me? Am I going to get people into trouble?”
“It’s not wrong,” Ana says with a smile. “I mean listen, I’m a little jealous that you’re attracting all these hotties but at the end of the day, you’re all grown up. You don’t have to put labels on it, and they are grown men. If y’all wanna fuck, then fuck. But remember.” She prods me lightly in my chest. “What happened at the club was not your fault, okay? And definitely not because you’re crushing on three different men. Fuck what Meghan thinks, okay? Focus on the good, and enjoy it.”
