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My blood ran cold and my hand furled around the handle. A wave of nausea passed through me. Had he seen me? If he had though, he would’ve confronted me, right? How many years had I been running away from him, now? He was going to be angry and that wasn’t even the worst of it.
“Did you say you knew me?” I asked in the quietest of voices—foreign to even me. I couldn’t break out a smile or pretend like it was okay. My body headed automatically into fight-or-flight response.
“No,” Eric growled out, and I stared at him, aroused and terrified by his dominant tone. Heat filled my lower abdomen. In his own way, without realizing it or caring to admit, had he been protecting me? All the while I was gossiping about his con ex-girlfriend.
“He’s someone I can’t get caught up with again. I guess you could describe him as an ex of sorts.” Bile crept into my throat just by referring him as that. I closed my eyes, praying that Eric wouldn’t ask any more questions. I hadn’t had to deal with my parents or even the mention of Frederick for three years now. That’s how long I’d been in Manhattan, and yet I still wasn’t ready to face any of them.
A warm hand covered mine and squeezed. My eyes burst open, and I stared at Eric. “If you’re in trouble, I need to know.”
Involuntary tears welled in my eyes. I’d waited for so long for someone to sincerely offer me that help, drowning under paranoia that Frederick would show up in Manhattan at any time. But after a year, I’d realized they didn’t care and no one would come. Until now. And even so, it’d felt so long since I was associated with that world that I never thought to bring it up in conversation or entertain it to my new group of friends I’d made in Manhattan.
By the time we’d arrived at the cabin, tears had slipped down my cheeks at the thought and release of all the pent-up emotions and fears I’d held back for so long. Eric pulled on the handbrake, a fiery rage burning through his beautiful green eyes.
“I’m sorry it’s dumb,” I vigorously wiped away the tears, embarrassed. I needed to get out of this car. I needed to forget again. I needed a moment to breathe and bounce back to my usual bright self. “I just remembered something bad is all.” I undid my belt and tried to open the door. Whiplash took hold as Eric tugged me back into the car. When I turned around, his mouth crashed onto mine and everything immediately dissipated.
My mind went blank but my body opened up to him, melting into him as my hands furled around his collar, pulling him in and asking for more. Everything about him was rough and demanding. His hand cupped my cheek as I tried to lean further over the awkward box between us in the car, my thighs urging me to straddle him instead.
He smelt of pinewood and masculine promise, my toes curling at the prospect. All the tension rippled from me, morphing and gripping me with a new kind of buzz. One that promised dirty words and thick masculine thighs spreading my own.
I bit down on his bottom lip with a groan and both of our eyes sprang open, breaking the spell. He pulled back, a small growl rumbling through his core. My body quaked in anticipation. I was breathless, my hair a mess. His thick, calloused thumb rubbed against my cheekbone as realization dawned on us. Did we just… kiss?
My mouth opened and then closed. For the first time ever, I was speechless.
“I don’t like seeing you cry,” he said. Simple and matter of fact.
“So you kiss women into silence?” I hiccupped, still in disbelief.
“No, I usually kiss them into submission,” he growled.
My core flooded, my pussy pounding with the first real excitement it had since… well a long time. Sure, I’d been celibate for three months, but even before then I’d been going through the motions with men. All types of men. But there was a hungry need and urgency that filled me now. I felt wanted by Eric. And as I dipped my gaze to the hard bulge in his jeans, I realized that couldn’t be any clearer.
He slipped away his hand and jerked open the door. I sat there stunned. What was happening?
I kicked my own door open. “What was that?” I asked, still in a dreary state.
“It was a mistake. It’s not a good idea if you and I get involved, snowflake.”
As quickly as it happened, I was rejected in the same breath. I felt stunned and frozen in the snow, moving mechanically to open the door for Shadow.
“And trust me when I say it’s in your best interest,” Eric reinforced matter–of-factly. All passion had drained from him, and he’d returned to his stoic state.
I snorted. “It’s not you, it’s me, right? What a classic line.” And one I’d grown too accustomed to hearing. As uncomfortable as the rejection was, I found myself grateful for one thing. Despite Eric’s confusing methods, that cold gripping terror had vanished, and he didn’t look like he was about to press for any more answers about my past. For now.
“Trust me, I’m not the one for you,” Eric said as he all but ran for the door, leaving me and Shadow behind by the still open and unlocked truck. We gave one another a dubious look. Shit, I knew I’d scared off men in the past, but this was a whole new level. And yet I couldn’t help reach for my lip, reliving that moment of pure intoxication. I felt alive and hot. And despite his words, my heart and pussy pounded defiantly, demanding more, now that it had a taste of what was possible. I found it difficult to believe his words when his actions had told me something entirely different.
I wanted to slap my cheeks in an attempt to calm my libido down. I’d sworn to celibacy until I found the right man. For once, I wasn’t using my body first. Wouldn’t this be betraying that notion? I realized after two dates, most didn’t bother to stick around in the past three months when I didn’t put out.
Was this any different? Or could it be that it was a convenience for him to have a woman in his cabin and why not? But if that had been the case… he wouldn’t have run away so easily. Right?
Chapter 20
Eric
Thud. The wood split into two. I was surrounded by mounds of chopped wood but no matter how much I chopped, it wasn’t enough to burn away any of that unwanted and remaining energy. I’d kissed Cassidy impulsively. The moment I saw her eyes fill with tears, sheer terror in her expression and that bottom lip wobbling, I was a goner. I wanted to distract her in any way I could and my body moved of its own accord.
The kiss was fucking amazing and scorched straight into my memories. My dick became so uncomfortably hard that had it been anyone else, I probably would’ve dragged them out and fucked them against the truck’s bonnet, driving us both into oblivion. But Cassidy was different. I couldn’t do that. We were temporarily living together, and I still wasn’t entirely sure why I’d extended the offer, but I wasn’t going to screw it up because I wanted a release.
Thud. Another piece of wood split. Flashes of her soft lips and skin against my calloused hands. The way those big blue eyes stared back at me with total submission. I could’ve done anything to that woman no matter how dirty my fantasy.
