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“No, she was supposed to be. I got over my guilt for her, and for what?”
“You work together. You’re going to have to get over it and move on. I know plenty of women that would love to be in your bed.”
“It wasn’t about sex. Don’t you understand that?”
“Then what was it about?”
“Her. I wanted her! I love her, and she knows it. I told her I did.”
“Maybe you should stay away from the office for a few days.”
“I plan on it. I’m going away for a while. I still have my place in Massachusetts.”
“Where?”
“Nice try, Zane. It’s for me and only me. I need to be alone again.”
“So you’re going to hide? This is silly.”
“To me, it isn’t. I’m just going. I’ll rent a car and go.”
“Are you telling anyone?”
“I just told you. You can tell that bitch I’m gone. Not that she would care.”
“Luc, I wish you would take some time and think about this.”
“There’s nothing to think about. It’s done. I’m destined to be alone. Cassie was the only one that loved me. She was my soulmate, and she’s gone.”
“Would you fucking listen to me?” he nearly shouts. “That’s not true. There are plenty of good women out there. And that’s bullshit; I love you. Rory loves you. Your family and friends love you.”
“I gotta go. I’ll call you next week or sometime soon.”
Grabbing my clothes from the bedroom, I pull them on and leave the Indiana Jones hat on the bed. I hug Zane, and he returns it, wrapping his arms tightly around me.
“I love you, Luc. You’re like a brother to me.”
“I love you too, Zane. Take care.”
I have a cabbie take me to a car rental place. Since it’s not open at this hour, I pay to sit in his taxi until it does. They can give me a brand-new Toyota Camry. I wasn’t about to stop by the loft for supplies. I was going straight back to Bourne in Cape Cod, to the cabin that made me feel safe. Thankfully, it is still early, and late fall, the traffic to the Cape is almost non-existent.
It is after 2 PM when I reach the cabin after picking up groceries. I haven’t been here in six months, but it looks as I left it back in March. I check around to make sure there are no more leaks in the roof. I would have to hire a roofer in the next few days since it was still in poor condition, and I need it in working order if I plan on staying here through the winter.
The other summer tenants living nearby had left for the season, so I was alone. The small lakefront beach that we shared was now mine for a few months. Pacing toward it, I walk across my lawn, kicking idly at the leaves that hadn’t been cleaned up yet by the landscaping crew I employed. The crisp air smells good—relieving—and I breathe it deep into my lungs.
Many months ago, I came to this place with a broken heart. When I left, I had hope, but now I was back, devastated. My phone rings in my pocket, and I remove it to see who is calling. Olivia. My blood boils as anger rises in me. I resist the urge to smash the cell with my fist, and finally, it goes silent. I’m about to slip it back into my pocket just as it chirps, indicating a voicemail had come in. I delete it. I didn’t want to hear what Olivia had to say. There was nothing she could tell me that would help.
I head back inside and study the cabin. If I was going to stay here for any amount of time, I had to make it more comfortable. The first thing I do is get a car. I had sold mine when I arrived in Manhattan. This time, I would get a pickup truck or an SUV. The road to the lake could get bogged down with snow in the winter, and it took too long for it to be plowed since it was tertiary.
Last time I had stayed, I hadn’t allowed myself any creature comforts. I felt that it was a deserved penance for not being able to save Cassie. She suffered, so I wasn’t going to be comfortable either. This time, and because the mattress was old with springs that made my back sore, I find a tape measure and map out how I could fit a queen-sized bed in the bedroom without cutting off walking space.
The old dresser was bulky, and if I switched to an armoire, it would create more area. I sit down at the small table and boot up the laptop I’d left months before. In Microsoft Word, I draw out a template using the dimensions of the bedroom. If I get rid of the dresser and use a regular steel frame for the bed, I could fit a bigger bed.
Next, I write a list of supplies to make this place more livable. The paint on the walls was yellowing with age. All the furniture is old and threadbare in some spots. The bathroom had a steel shower stall that was rusty where the paint had flecked off, an old toilet, and porcelain sink. The linoleum had curled in a few places, and you could see the subfloor below. Wallpaper in the kitchen was peeling and sticky with grease. It was time to renovate.
I continue to write plans throughout the night, ignoring my phone as it chirped and rang with texts and calls. I make a sandwich for dinner and suck down a bottle of water before I go to bed just before nine. Tomorrow would be the first day of my new life here in Bourne.
The next morning is bright and sunny. I wake early and cram a granola bar into my mouth before heading to town. First order of business is to buy a new vehicle and return the rental car. A used car lot opens as I get into town, and I select a pickup truck that was five years old. I would need something that I could cart supplies for the cabin.
