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Then he whispers, “I think you don’t have far to go to give in. How far do I need to push you? An inch?”
I push against him, this time with less hesitance. Although I want him to fuck me in the worst way because I’ve waited months for him to want me, this is all on his terms—again. All at once, I’m crying. Tears stream freely down my face, and Chase grows confused.
“No, baby, don’t cry,” he tries to soothe. “Please don’t cry.”
He backs up, and the heat of his body fades, but I can’t stop crying. Blinded by my tears, I feel him scoop me up in his arms and carry me someplace. It’s not until we get to his bedroom that I realize where I am, and the familiarity of it is heart-wrenching. All the times, we made love in the room play through my mind. At least from my perspective, it was love. This makes my body shudder harder with sobs.
Chase puts me down, and I’m dimly aware of him undressing me. Once my blouse and skirt come off, my body is exposed to the chill. He has me down to my underwear, and as my cries subside, he slips a t-shirt over me. Coming back to myself, I dutifully put my arms through the sleeves. Then, he helps me stand while he finishes by pulling back the covers.
“Megan, get in,” he gently directs.
Sluggishly, I climb into bed. After tucking the covers around me, he stoops down to wipe my tear-streaked cheeks.
“Don’t cry. It pains me to see you cry.”
Like a zombie, I watch him go to the bathroom. When he comes out, he’s in a pair of pajama pants, and his chest is bare. Chase kneels in front of the bed as he places a glass of water on the nightstand next to me.
“I’m going to sleep in my office. You call me if you need anything.”
“Noo,” I whine. I don’t want that.
“Sweetheart, you need to tell me what you want. Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?”
“I want you to cuddle me. Please? Just like you used to when you didn’t hate me.”
“Don’t say that. I never hated you. Quite the opposite.”
This is news to me, but I resist sayings anything as Chase slips in behind me and pulls me against his body. His hand splays across my belly as he tucks his head on my shoulder. I fall asleep easily.
I’m awakened at nearly three in the morning by CJ’s screams. Disoriented when I wake, I’m not sure where I am. By the time I do, Chase is climbing out of bed and hurrying out of the room. Sleepily, I follow and find him rocking CJ in his arms, but our son continues to cry.
“I bet he’s wet,” I murmur. “Let me change him.”
He hands CJ to me, and I go to the changing table to take off his soaked diaper. Chase made sure to stock everything ahead of time, so I’m able to clean CJ and put a new diaper on him. He’s half asleep and sucking his thumb by the time I put him back in his crib.
Chase is smiling at me once I finish. “You’re a great mother.”
“I hope so. I wonder if our son will say that when he’s a teenager.”
“He better, or else.”
In the dim light of the room, Chase stares at my body in whatever state of undress I left the bed. The t-shirt he gave me barely drapes down to my upper thighs, and each movement I make reveals my thong. Composing myself, I head back to his bathroom to wash my hands. When I reenter the bedroom, Chase is back in bed on his side. More awake, I notice how uncomfortable my bra has become and unclasp it to pull it through the sleeve of the shirt.
Placing it with my other clothes, I slide into bed and lie on my back. From my periphery, I’m aware of Chase staring at me, which makes me uneasy. I’m aware of every movement of my body near his.
“Why are you looking at me that way?” I question, my voice low.
“I’m in awe of you, Megan Stanford. You’re a great mother, you work, and you’re organized.”
“I’m not sure if it’s the lack of sleep or how I handled our son that has you feeling so complimentary.”
“It’s neither. I’ve been thinking about you lately.”
My stomach lurches at the knowledge that I’ve been on his mind.
“Why are you all of a sudden in awe of me? It’s probably because I did what no other woman has done—I had your child. Go to sleep.”
I reach up to flick the light off, but Chase grabs hold of my arm before I hit the switch. Silently, I withdraw, letting him gather my other arm and pin both my hands above my head, holding them in one of his. He lowers his lips until they’re a breath away before pressing a hard kiss against mine, making my core clench as his body covers me. He breaks our kiss and looks me in the eyes.
