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“Do you need anything? Maybe some tea?”
“Tea would be nice.”
“I’ll get you a cup from the cafeteria.” He plants a kiss on my cheek and hurries away.
“If you’re not sure about marrying him, you need to tell him immediately. I can see that he’s already planning a life with you and CJ,” Lexi says.
“I just don’t know if that’s what I want.”
“Megan, what Chase did to you broke your heart. You can’t do that to Steven.”
“Please, I need to think about it.”
“Think quickly.”
As the words leave me, my mother breezes in with my father, and soon we have a full house fawning over CJ. He is a beautiful baby, and every time I think about him, I’m overjoyed to be a mother. After some time, everyone is asked to leave when my doctor comes in to examine me. I’m hoping to get out of here today so that I can settle into life with my child.
“Megan, everything looks good. I think we can get you out of here this morning.”
“Thank you, Dr. Levy, I can’t wait. The food here is horrible.”
“I have to agree with you,” he jokes.
While he jots something down on my chart, Steven reappears with my black tea and hands it over.
“Megan, as long as you’re breastfeeding, go easy on the caffeine. Remember, whatever you put in your body can affect your breast milk.”
“So, I shouldn’t drink this tea?”
“If it’s caffeinated, I’d advise against it. I can give you a diet list of things to avoid. Of course, alcohol should be severely restricted if not cut out.”
I frown at the idea of no caffeine. I can abstain as long as I’m feeding CJ because he’s worth it. I want him to be healthy. With a small sigh, I hand the tea back to Steven, and he takes it out of the room to dump. I wish I told him to get me something different. I don’t want to look like a negligent mother in front of my doctor.
Steven comes back and passes Dr. Levy as the doctor heads to the nurse’s station to sign off on my release papers.
“Do you want to see if your ring fits today?”
I hold out my hand. This time, the ring slides on though it’s still a little tight. In the coming days, it should loosen up. Seeing it on my finger makes Steven grin from ear to ear. My mother and Lexi arrive to help me get ready to leave.
The nurse comes in shortly with my release papers, and I sign off on my agreement to take aftercare at home. I’m happy to be getting out of here. While trying to get up to get dressed, I’m sore as hell and have to take it slow. Lexi helps me slip on my clothing.
“I thought Emma was going to be here? I say.
“She’s at your apartment cleaning up. You know she’s been reading all about newborns. I think she’ll be a big help this week.”
I’m sure she will, but I wish that someone experienced like Lexi or my mother was going to be there. My mom still works and couldn’t get time off until the following week. I don’t want to bother Lexi since she has two of her own to take care of. Emma will have to suffice.
After I’m dressed, I change CJ’s diaper and dress him too. He’s so quiet that I hope he’s alright. I guess I’ll have a lot to learn about my son. Steven brings the baby carrier in, and the nurse comes with a wheelchair for me.
On the way home, packed tightly in Steven’s Volvo, I can’t help but check on CJ every few seconds. He’s sleeping quietly in his car seat, and I reach out to adjust the little cap on his head. We were in luck that the foul weather of March broke, and it’s actually in the fifties today.
Adjusting to life with my son is a challenge, but he’s normally a happy baby who rarely cries. I drove Emma crazy the first week CJ was home. Whenever he did cry, I would do a full check over to make sure it was just due to him being hungry, needing a diaper change, or burping.
At night I would get up every two hours to check on him even though Emma slept on an air mattress near his crib. I kept waking her, so on the third night, she got mad at me and stalked out of the nursery to sleep on the living room couch. I guess I was overprotective.
In the second week, Emma went back to work, and my mother visited for two weeks. Since she couldn’t sleep on the air mattress, she shared my king-sized bed. When I would get up to check on CJ, she would pull me back and tell me he was fine. I always second-guessed her, but she would say to look at the video monitor I kept by my bed. Of course, CJ was always fine, but I would watch as his little chest rose and fell while he slept anyway.
At some point, I had to take off my engagement ring. I accidentally scratched CJ while bathing him, causing him to scream in pain at the tiny injury I left on his arm. I cried uncontrollably when I saw what I had done, and my mother had to finish washing him.
