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I put my head in the crook of Austin’s neck. “I told you.”
“It’s not because it felt good.”
“It is,” I insisted.
“Is it so bad to tell me the truth?”
“That is the truth. I haven’t been with anyone else since you, and I needed this. I need it.”
“It or the person giving it to you?”
I lifted my head to look at him. “I’m not going to deny we have a connection; I think we always will. We were always in sync when it came to sex.”
Austin smoothed my hair from my face. “But not anything else?”
“I didn’t say that.”
I slid off him and moved to his side. Austin curled around me and held me in his arms. I missed everything about him, and if I wasn’t so stubborn, I might’ve admitted it to him. We fell asleep, and when I woke, dawn was leaking in the windows. The lights in the room were on from the night before. He was still curled around me, and I pressed my nose to his arm and inhaled. I loved his scent.
The small bedside clock told me that is was six. I needed to get up if I was to make it to the office by seven thirty. I tried to escape Austin’s steely grip, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“Hey, I have to go to work.”
“I’m afraid if I let you go, this will never happen again.”
“I can’t agree to it happening again. Do you think it’s healthy?”
He released me and pulled on my shoulder so I would look at him. “For who?”
“Both of us. We’re not in a relationship; we’re just friends.”
“Who are we hurting if we agree to this? No one.”
It was hurting me because I wanted him to be mine again, but my fear of his rejection kept me from admitting how I really felt. After all, I was the ice queen. I was supposed to be devoid of emotion. I slipped from the bed and went to take a shower. When I came out, he was dressed and slipping on his sneakers.
“You’re leaving today?”
“I have to get back. My assistant has been teaching my classes. I’m giving a test on Monday that I need to draw up. Roman is taking care of the arrangements for my grandmother.”
“Will I see you again?”
“Call me when you get back to Los Angeles. We can have lunch or dinner.”
“I should be there by mid-week. I didn’t go this week because I was training two new executives. I might be back there permanently in the next few weeks.”
“That’s good to hear.”
He came to me and kissed my forehead then he turned, grabbed his jacket, and left. I felt empty and sank to the corner of the bed, staring at the carpet. It was a bad idea to make love with Austin. It made me feel worse than when we weren’t having sex. It wasn’t permanent, and the fear that eventually he would move on made me nauseous.
Chapter 13
Edith got better and went for rehabilitation with a physical therapist. I visited her several times, and she grumbled about the woman killing her. I promised to take her out to dinner when she felt well enough. Austin and I texted each other occasionally, but never got together when I was in Los Angeles.
I spent Thanksgiving alone in my room watching television and ordering room service. My parents were now in Costa Rica, taking a much-needed vacation with a couple who retired there. They didn’t even bother to call me. I guess I should be used to it by now.
I was sure I would be able to take my vacation to the Maldives since Tailwind was running smoothly. The president and vice president I hired seemed to pick up on the policies and procedures. I poached them from another animation studio in the city.
The movie we had produced about the kittens and puppies called Pet’s Day Off was in the process of editing. We were on schedule to release it by Christmas. It would be the first movie Tailwind released after Spotlight purchased the company and I hoped it would do well.
