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He turned to me. “Do you want to get a cup of coffee?”
“I’d like to stay with her.”
“We can’t do anything. As much as I want to, there’s nothing we can do.”
He took my hand, and we headed to the cafeteria. I didn’t pull away; I didn’t want to. I wanted this to be real like it used to be when we were together, when he didn’t hate me. We bought acrid tasting cups of coffee and sat at a table away from other people.
“Are you with him?”
I looked at Austin, confused. “With who?”
“That man who I saw you with yesterday. He touched you.”
“His name is Marc. No, I’m not with him. He’s a close friend.”
“I was once a close friend.”
“What are you implying? That I’m fucking him?”
“Are you?”
“It’s really none of your business. You’re getting married soon. Where is your fiancée?”
He averted his eyes from mine. “Jessie stayed behind to make last-minute wedding arrangements.”
“How do you feel about Edith not being there?”
“I want her to get better, but she won’t. She smoked for twenty-five years. The damage was done. Did she tell you she refused treatment? She doesn’t want to deal with the side effects.”
“I was hoping she would beat this.”
“She won’t. The doctor isn’t sure how long she has.”
I wiped tears from my eyes. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“Neither do I. I know how it feels to lose someone you really love.”
Austin fixed his amber eyes on me, and I couldn’t stop staring into them. I felt so many emotions, love, hurt, pain, fear, anger, guilt. If he loved me so much, why was he marrying someone else? Why did he push me away?
I visited Edith every chance I could. Austin stayed in New York and took turns standing vigil with Roman. Day by day, Edith was getting weaker. I was sitting with her one afternoon, and she tried to claw her oxygen mask off her face.
“Stop it,” I said. “You need to keep that on.”
“I want this to be over. I want to be at peace,” she whispered.
I put my head down and wiped at the tears that dripped down my face. “I don’t want to lose you. I know that’s selfish to say.”
“I love you, too. I want you to tell Austin.”
“I can’t. He doesn’t need to know.”
“He needs to know. He still loves you.”
“I don’t think that’s the truth. He’s getting married in two weeks.”
“My dying wish is that he ends it with her. You’re the right woman for him.”
“He made his choice.”
